01/30/10: Good mirrors/Bad mirrors

My husband and I stopped at our favorite Asian Bistro on the way home from work last night.  We were going to get ourselves some sushi to take home.  A long week and cool weather meant a perfect night to curl up on the couch and watch movies - and maybe even have one of my beloved fires in the fireplace!

The parking lot was rather full and we ended up parking at the end of the strip.  We got out of the car and I realized we were right in front of a new boutique-y but not hoity-toity hair salon.  I was intrigued.

We had a wonderful hair stylist we used to go to and last summer she passed away.  Sad sad story - 43 years old and about eight months into her marriage, it was all just over.  But that's not the story I'm here to talk about...

It left us looking for a new stylist, though.  With my hair short short short and my looks being unimprovable, for a little while, anyway, I wasn't too worried about finding "the one".  We would stop at a chain shop every four weeks or so as I tried to get some length back that could be worked with.  And my hubby, well, he's a man...

But this place was intriguing.  And there was a sign in the door saying "walkins welcome".

We'd been stewing around all week thinking it was time to get trims...so we walked in.

The lady who is taking walk-ins right now was available for only one cut.  My sweet hubby, knowing that I was really unhappy with my hair, said "go ahead".  So he wandered down to the sushi place to get a menu while I got my hair washed and conditioned.  I got an absolutely phenomenal hair cut.  She was meticulous and tried very hard to not cut length off while shaping and texturing it just right.  I must admit, I'm still not happy with my hair - but that's because it's too short, not because of how it's styled.  It is a good cut and it should hold up better than three weeks.  It should also be a style that will continue to grow well.  I'd love nothing more than to have the return of my hair length coinciding with my first little bit of noticeable weight loss.

But...sigh....

After the great shampoo and condition, I sit down in her chair and I'm facing a full body length mirror.  YUCK!  I AM FAT!  I hate when I have to sit in front of mirrors that show all of me like that.  Here's my legs, my tummy, my shoulders, my arms, my "me" all staring back at me - and it's all PUDGE.  I AM FAT!

I have self-diagnosed myself as having Body Dismorphic Disorder.  See...the problem is...in my mind's eye, I am still muscular and toned.  In my mind's eye, I am still curvy where curves should exist - and not curvy where curves should not exist.  I had a similar situation happen at my aunt's house over New Years...we were sitting in her great room and there's a small alcove that has mirrors for the walls.  I'm sitting in this chair looking at a profile of myself and I was just horrified by my reflection.  Same thing last night.  Horrified.  She could not get that smock on me fast enough...but by then....

And then I come home.  And the mirrors in my house all don't reflect that hideousness I saw last night or at my aunt's.  Not great reflections, don't get me wrong.  But they somehow reinforce my mind's eye.  I still see the curves where curves should exist. 

Mirrors.  They are just funny things.  Which mirror is the more accurate image?  That's what I want to know!

And by seeking that answer - doesn't mean I don't think I've got to do something about this.  I absolutely do and I'm trying - but in either case, I still am fat.  I still need to lose weight.  It's just so very odd!

But I got the hair cut.

And now I have a new goal.  To look good in that mirror! 

I'll be going back to her, too.  And so will my hubby.  We made him an appt for this morning as we were leaving last night and she razored/trimmed his hair by hand.  And it looks better than clippers ever do...so he was pleased, too.  Plus, she did a good shampoo - and that's the thing he really cares about. 

Here's a pic of the new hair cut... 
Not the best picture of me - but
at least I'm trying to let myself take
pictures....part of turning over a
new leaf...