08/01/2012: I met the quackiest of the quacks today!

I met a very quackie quack doctor today.  I think all that I can do is laugh about this appt because being mad at the waste of time and money is NOT going to be productive for me.  Hard to find peace with a horrible journey when mad.  So I laugh.  And I laugh HARD because this quack was quackier than even the quackiest of quacks could ever be.  I don't think quack even comes close to describing the level of his quackiness!

I'm trying to see how many ways I can use the word quack.  Seems a lot.

Anywho, here's my funny story.

Yesterday I posted a blog.  In that blog I mentioned that I am working with an endometriosis specialist.  He, in turn, works with a number of other specialists to ensure we are getting at the endo from every possible direction.  This specialist specializes in a special type of surgery that is especially beneficial for people with severe endometriosis.

I'm on a role, aren't I?

Odds are this specialist will do surgery on me, using his special surgical skills.  But he has to try to do things that might relieve my pain without surgery first.  I'm not sure why.  To appease insurance is my guess.  But who knows.  He didn't say, I didn't ask.

This specialist gave my husband and I a tutorial on endometriosis and why his technique is best.  In this tutorial he gave us an analogy.  The analogy is this.  My abdomen is a lake.  Endometriosis is a tree on the shore of the lake.  The tree sheds leaves all over the abdomen creating a "dirty lake".  This surgeon can clean up all the leaves.  But he can't clean the water.  The GI he works with does that.  It's not enough to just clean the leaves off the surface, the water needs to be cleaned, too.  It's also not enough to just remove the uterus - the roots of the tree.  If you don't clean out all the leaves, they will continue to make the water dirty.

Ok, so there's the nitty-gritty of the analogy.

I think what he's doing is seeing if this GI can fix the water based on the notion that my first surgery was successful.  And if the GI can't fix the water, then he'll know the first surgery was NOT successful.  So I get to tolerate at least eight more weeks of pain to prove that.

Somehow I know that the first surgery wasn't successful.  I know that because of the difference between laser ablation and excision.  Like I said yesterday, I don't even think I was staged correctly and that's a result of an unsuccessful surgery.

This GI thinks that if I eat right, I will no longer have endometriosis.  In a nutshell, the endo is causing my intestines to spasm.  And by eating right I can stop those spasms and therefore the endo.

Hmmm...

I am a bandster.  I might not eat right 100% of the time, but I mostly do.  But I'm skipping ahead...

I know there is nothing wrong with my large or small intestines.  I just do.  I know they aren't spasming.  I know they are literally stuck because endometriosis is pretty sticky.  It binds things together that are actually meant to be moving freely.  I have places where my colon is stuck to my uterus, places where my colon is stuck to my colon, places where my intestines are stuck to my liver, etc.  If there is spasming it's because this organ that should move freely simply isn't allowed to because of the endo.  And until that endo gets cleaned up, that's actually just gonna get worse.

I do agree that cleaning the leaves off the surface isn't enough.  But I was pretty sure prior to today that I have a very healthy intestinal tract.  I've had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy since this ordeal started and all was well.  What we don't want to have happen is for the endo to perforate the colon by allowing one of those tumors, a leaf, to grow too wildly.  And the longer we wait to clean up the leaves, the more likely that is.

Ok, so introduce quack.

He has an ECG technique to monitor the intestines.  He has studied over 5000 women, both with and without endometriosis and has figured out how to get an ECG to tell him about a women's intestinal health.  Women with endometriosis would have a hyperactive intestinal tract.  And once he proves that, he then puts you on a low glycemic diet and supplements with different things and uses meds to alleviate pain that won't cause blockage.

I had alarm bells going off before I even met him.

A bandster diet is typically not high glycemic.
A GI that uses supplements to get vitamins and minerals?  Really?  A GI above any other physician would know that the best way for the body to get vitamins and minerals is through food.  Most all of what is ingested through pills and potions is NOT taken up by the intestines.  It's not natural.
But I can see using meds that don't cause constipation...

So I go in today.  I met with the doc.  Absolutely no personality.  But he's a GI.  What would anyone expect?   I have a GI following me that I like.  He's young and nice and personable and charming.  I've never met another like him, though.  GI's are just weird by nature.  So, ok, that is what it is.  He takes my history.  He didn't believe me when he asked if about my regularity and I said "I'm quite regular but do run into swinging back and forth from diarrhea to constipation around the time that I start my (.).  But that lasts two days as my (.) ramps up and then I'm back to normal. I've been like that forever.  He literally didn't believe me.  Said I was lying and was doing myself no good by doing so.

Get over yourself doc.

But it gets better.  Oh does it get better.  There were a few other things where he simply didn't believe me.

Seriously?  Why would I lie?  I'm actually paying for this appt since he's out of network for me.  That should have been my first clue.  Cigna, my ins co, won't work with him because he's a quack!

We eventually get done with the history and he has me move to the exam table.  He palpitates every square inch of my belly and notes I'm particularly tender and in extreme pain.

Thank.  I coulda told you that but you'd have said I was lying!

From there I went to do the electrical test.  His nurse put three electrodes on my belly.  I had to lay perfectly still for 15 minutes while a baseline was established.  So I slept.  Following those 15 minutes, I drank a half a cup of water.  I then had to lay perfectly still for another 30 minutes as actual measurements were taken which should indicate my intestinal health.

I should tell  you here that he is the only doctor in the world that does this test.  He's rather proud of that.  Funny.  I see that as a lack of support for his quackiness.  If he was truly onto something, other practitioners would be picking up his techniques, would be wanting to learn from him.  But no one is.

So with the test done...I go back to the exam room.  I was on pins and needles to hear what he'd have to say.  I honestly didn't know what to expect.  I mean, I know my intestines are healthy and function just fine.  But I also know I have endo and my endo is causing me a lot of problems.  I don't think for a second, though, that my pain is coming from spasms.  My pain is coming from my ovaries, from my uterus, from excessive inflammation.  But spasms?  Not so much.

He finally came in.  And he was mad at me.  I mean MAD!  He puts the graphs in front of me.  He shows me what a healthy intestinal tract should look like.  Then he shows me mine.  It matches.  He told me that was improbable, surely my intestines are why I'm experiencing such pain.  So he effectively doesn't believe his own test.

I think I am  blowing his theory out of the water.  I think his theory doesn't hold steady across the board which would explain why other practitioners are not picking this up.  I think that some women do have poor intestinal health along with endometriosis but that the two are not necessarily related.  Can be.  But not always.  And fixing the intestines isn't always, in fact isn't usually going to fix endo.

So he shows me the next graph.  It's four on one sheet.  Showing serotonin uptake, general electrical activity of the whole body - stuff like that.  I'm well within the range for all of the above.  Again, MAD at me.
M.  A.  D.

Finally, he shows me one that is a measurement of the stomach vs the intestines.  My stomach was showing normal rhythms.  My intestines were showing an increase in effort.  He said that absolutely indicates endometriosis and that my intestines are definitely stuck together in places.

But it's not the spasms he claimed I'd have.  His own theory supports that yes, I do have endo.  But no, my large and small intestines are not my problem.  They've been affected but they aren't the problem.

But then it gets real quacky.

He's going to treat me for a spasming intestinal tract anyway.  A benzodiazepan (like valium only weaker) and an antihistamine that should promote serotonin uptake.  He also wants me to take a liquid mineral supplement as well as a daily vitamin that does not have iron.

Sigh.  So expensive.  But sadly, I have to do this to prove to the surgeon what I already know.

I know this could count as a self-fulfilling prophecy, but all of this is not going to fix me.  I guess I even want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy because I do need to get to the real solution which is that specialized surgery.

I go back to him in 4 weeks.  I have to prove I've not eaten any of their "do not eat" foods.  I have to prove I have done what they've told me.  And after 4 weeks, they'll readjust as needed and send a recommendation to the surgeon.  I see him again in about 7 weeks now.

It's just quacky.  How does a GI support supplements over natural sources of vitamins and minerals?  He's telling me I can never ever ever eat a banana again.  Bananas will kill me, he claims.  So will red meat.  And corn and carrots and red wine.  Can you imagine a life of not a single glass of red wine ever?

And it's funny.  I realized after I got back to my husband who was off at his own appts...I did that exercise back in June of trying to not eat out.  We didn't succeed completely but we sure did get our eating sorted out.  I've been doing this diet, effectively, since then.  And guess what.  Since June...my pain has intensified exponentially.  I went from only having pain 2 weeks out of a 4 week cycle to every damned day.  And that was while eating better.  I don't cook from a box or a can or a bag.  I cook with real ingredients, real fruits, real veggies - nothing canned, preserved or otherwise.

Sigh.

A quack, I tell you, a quack.

We shall see where this goes.

That's all I can do right now...