03/22/10: I'm Back...

****Edited to remove content related to health care.

It's been awhile so this is old news now...I went to my pre-op appt last Weds.  I can't stand that surgeon's philosophy.  Isn't that funny?  If you have read my blog you might recall a couple of different times that I've sworn to all getout that I love his philosophy.

Yeah.  I'm so glad I follow blogs and see how the band gets applied to real life with real people.

He's NUTS!

I am supposed to spend the rest of my life never eating carbs ever again!  EVER!

I am supposed to spend the rest of my life deriving all of my nutrients from supplements!

Yes.  All. 

See...we all know (I hope) that you do not get the same amounts of nutrients from supplements as you do from food.  That little tablet that comes in a bottle may say it's 100% of your needed daily intake, but if you get 50% of what you need from it, you are doing good.  Our bodies want food.  Our bodies know how to break food down to get what is needed.  So while a supplement is all well and good...it cannot be the only source of nutrients.  It's called a supplement not a source!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There's a reason for that!

Friggin idiot.

I will NOT live my life not eating most fruits and veggies.  I will not live my life eating ONLY protein.  Need a snack?  Eat jerky.  No dairy.  Dairy is bad for you.

WHAT?

He's an idiot. 

Yes, seriously.  Don't eat fruits and veggies.  1 cup of veggies a day - but you can only eat 4 oz a meal...and protein is first.  Make sure you get 90g of protein a day (at my current weight).  Drink what you must in order to do that.  Don't eat fruits and veggies until you've had all your protein.

Absurd.

I wanted to laugh.  I wanted to laugh hysterically.  But even I, the majorist idiot of all, know that I just need to shut up and get the surgery done.

When all is said and done, I will see this surgeon two more times.  He will not do fills.  He has to do surgery.  Fine.  Go.  He does one follow-up.  Then my RNP does the rest of the visits from there til the end of time.

I like my RNP - who is banded and is applying real life to a real band.  I even, get this, like my nutritionist NOW.  I don't have to like my surgeon.  I just have to get him to do what I want...so I'll play his stupid game.  For two weeks.  Or until surgery.

He did have interesting points for this pre-op diet, though.

Purpose #1) to remove glycogens from your liver.  Glycogens make your liver hard which makes your liver hard to move.  A liver that is hard to move is easier to knick.  Given that the liver is filled with blood at all times, a knicked liver is something that bleeds a lot.  That means a longer surgery.  Make your liver not be hard.  It makes it easier to have a safe surgery.  And he was blunt - "it saves [him] time".

Purpose #2) the more you lose, the more fill he starts you with.  If it looks like you weren't serious, i.e. your liver is still hard, then you get no fill.  If it looks like you were serious, i.e. your liver is as floppy as floppy can be - then you get 4cc's to start.  Otherwise, where ever your liver falls in that spectrum of hard-to-floppy dictates how much fill you get.

Interestingly enough, there was an article my husband read this weekend that was talking about that America's epidemic with obesity is probably related to high glycogen content in the liver.  The liver can't function properly.

Furthermore, I want 4cc's!

Talk about a good head start!

So my starting weight was taken at the pre-op.  I was down 2 from the last weigh-in of the unweightloss program.

I proceeded, on thurs and fri, with the March Madness open house going on, to relax and decided to just enjoy my time off, the gorgeous weather and whatever.  Thursday that equated to eating all protein.  No veggies, no fruit, no carbs.  Just protein.  I did have dairy in the form of cheese.  (ooh..bad girl! she says dripping with sarcasm)  Friday morning I was down 4 pounds from my Thursday morning weight.

Friday, though, my neighbors won.  They brought sandwiches and chips and cake.  DANGIT!  It's not that I never want to eat the stuff...but I don't want it right now.  But since I was relaxed, I ate it.

Saturday...I was up 3 pounds from my Friday morning weight.

Saturday I ate a few more pieces of cake..yeah...a few.  I figured to &^%$ with it.  Wrong attitude...no excuses...

But Saturday I was sick sick sick.  I was hacking up lungs and I slept all day.  I could not drink water because of what is going on with the lung thing - just this nasty taste in my mouth.  So I gave myself permission, in efforts to keep fluid intake up, to drink soda.  It's what I did as a kid. That was the one time my mom would let me have soda - when I didn't feel good - had the nasty taste in my mouth - and the calories of soda were not the worst thing, in fact, it was ok, since I generally wasn't getting calories from food.  I just needed fluid.  That still holds true with me.  I can't even begin to tell you what the sodas I drank on Saturday tasted like.  I just know that I can drink it when I'm sick like this...hacking up lungs...and when it's not the whole lung coming up it's green yellow mucky stuff. 

So Saturday was sodas and cake.

And Sunday I gained back that one extra pound.

So I'm back to where I was Wednesday.

And I'm hydrated.  And I'm still hacking up lungs but the taste in my mouth is going away.  Last night I wanted water.  Nothing else.  Just water.

So there.

Today is the official start of the pre-op diet.

I am allowed one cup of fruit a day - but they have to be complex carb fruits - meaning the sugars (i.e. the carbs) are coming from glucose, not fructose.  So berries, melons, apples.  No citrus.  No tropical fruits.  No to most fruits actually.

It changes my smoothie.  Now my smoothie is water, protein powder, flaxseed oil (probably bad), fiber powder and a cup of raspberries/blackberries/strawberries.  It's ok.  It's tart with the first few sips but it mellows out.  I'll be happy to get back to normal.

Oh...the fiber powder.  He said don't use it.  He said "if you follow a solid protein diet, you won't need it, you will be regular naturally".  Apparently he hasn't met my colon.  I need fruit or I need powder.  And berries aren't the fruit I need.  IDIOT!

I'm allowed one cup of veggies a day - and it's supposed to be green leafy types.  It's supposed to be with dinner.

I'm allowed 4 oz of protein with an evening meal.  Yes.  Since I'm a woman I get a whole whopping 4 oz.  Pre-band.  My hubby, being a man, gets 6oz.  He's not really on the pre-op, though, just offering support.  So he may very well eat more and I certainly won't stop him.

If I'm hungry mid-afternoon I can eat jerky.  That's it.  My only snack.  Jerky.

No sugar, no carrots, no potatoes, no...there's a few more no's.  I need to look tonight to remember what they are.

Now that I've described the pre-op diet I'll add that I am supposed to follow this exact diet for the rest of my life.  Nuts.  Absolutely NUTS!  As you can see, supplements would be necessary - because where else will I get my nutrients?  I mean, no dairy?  Ever?  Really?  And not just no dairy.  No soy milk, no almond milk, no rice milk...no anything that even remotely resembles MILK!   No cheese, no soy cheese, no cheese alternatives.  I'm not into deprivation.  I'm into wise choices MOST OF THE TIME!  IDIOT.

In this pre-op comedy session I asked about a prescription for actigall to prevent gallstone formation.  I said I know of many banders who are having to or have had to have their gallbladders removed.

He said "Let me correct you, they are not banders, they are bypass patients, this does not happen to Lap-Band patients".

I'm sorry.  Who the FRUCK do you think you are?

IDIOT!

No, he will not write a 'scrip for that.  "The 'medicine costs $1800 a month and the surgery will be cheaper.  Just have the surgery if that happens."  He also said "If a bander is having attacks, they already had the stones before they lost the weight and their surgeons are bad as that should have been caught."

Say it with me.  "IDIOT!"

I found out at the end of the session, when they don't have enough lap-band patients, they work on gall-bladder-ectomies.  Like my word?  But really, it's their other source of income.

So I plan to talk to my PCP about this.  And if it ever comes to that - I WILL NOT GO BACK TO HIM!

He's an idiot.

It's a new week.  Stay tuned to tomorrow's blog for a few more thoughts/developments from the pre-op appt.