03/27/10: Yay for Saturdays

Good morning y'all!  And a great big heaping happy Saturday to YOU!

I love every weekend but I love gorgeous beautifil spring weekends the most.  Sometimes.  :)

I love an equally gorgeous beautiful fall weekend filled with football, too.

And I love an equally gorgeous but hot summer weekend filled with nothing but swimming, too.

And I love a dreary downbeat winter weekend curled in front of the fire watching TLC all weekend, too.

But I can tell I'm already super in love with this weekend.  The birds are chirping, the breeze is blowing the sheers all through the house and there's just this cast of glowing-ness right now.  I love it.  I want to be outside.  So after I drink my smoothie and blog my bloggie, I shall be heading out there!

So yesterday sucked.  I mean, it really truly horridly sucked.  I was just HUN....GREE...

I did not cheat.  I cannot believe how well I am doing with not breaking this as miserable as I am with it.

This diet is making me obsess about food.  I don't normally obsess.  I hate obsessing about food.  I HATE IT!  But here I am, doing what some quack thinks is best for me and losing control of my own intake and I'm obsessed.

I drove by a restaurant on the way to pick my hubby up last night.  The restaurant was called Thai Rice Cottage.  I've never eaten there and the place didn't look like anything to go out of my way for.  I love Thai food but we have our own fantastic Thai on this side of town.  Anywho.  "Rice" stuck out to me.  Ahh....rice, I thought.  A precious carb.

And then I thought, "why rice?"  I mean, if I could eat a carb today, would I want it to be rice?  No.  Not necessarily.  And then I thought "I don't even care what the carb is.  I don't want the taste of that carb or the texture of that carb or the flavor of that carb.  I want the feeling that carb gives me."

That feeling of satiety.  That feeling of a headache gone.  That feeling of serotonin being released again.  The feeling of contentedness.  I don't even want much of it.  Just enough to "feel better".  I figure "just enough" would equate to probably a quarter cup of rice or a quarter cup of pasta.  Maybe a half of a potato.  Just a little.

I started reading a lot yesterday about what's happening with my body.  And I think it's safe to say that I am in ketosis.  No matter how much I drink, I can't get my clear pee that I love so much.  Yesterday I drank 97 ounces.  It was alllll verrrrryyyyyyy yellow.  I know the headache is from a lack of carbs.  I know that some people get headaches from that and some people do not.  I know that if it was a detox headache it would not get worse with each sip of my protein shake.  I know that my protein shake probably has some sweetener like splenda in it and that splenda is likely making my headache even worse.

So then I looked at other protein sources.  I looked specifically at unjury because the idea of chicken soup sounds fantastic right now.  But it would be the end of the next week before it arrived.  Which doesn't help me with the pre-op diet because I really am hoping that the surgery can happen next week.  I had a conversation with myself about this yesterday.  I think, and maybe it's my own self-fulfilling prophecy here, but I think that all of these "shake" diets are going to be hard for me.  I think, honestly that I just have to make it work.  And buying something else will just be spending money.  Maybe that could be a transferrance of my frustration but I'd rather hang onto the pennies and just get through this.

And that's the key.  I know I'll get through this.  I can take Ibuprofen and I can take Tylenol to beat the headache back.  I know I am getting enough protein.  What I am not getting is a balanced diet.

And maybe this will pass.  Honestly, when I get a date and I can start focusing on that, I will forget, I think, about my belly.

I've gone back and forth is this head hunger or is this real hunger.  And like I said, I want the carbs because I want the feeling they produce.  But my stomach is literally growling constantly.  I have had a number of situations where my tummy wanted something and my head absolutely did not.  My head is not my problem, for once.

So yesterday I lost my desired 1.5 pounds.  I am now at 243.  I'm hoping I'll see 241 tomorrow.  And that is one of the things I am focusing on when I start to feel like I'm going to cave.

And last night I discovered that drinking chicken broth really helps.  A cup of chicken broth is a whopping 24 calories and has 5g of protein.  But I think the salt is what I actually wanted/needed.  I was drinking my tea drinking my tea drinking my tea.  And my body responds to that...but it is starting to wear off so quickly.  So I threw a cup of chicken broth in and I was fine for the rest of the evening.

The chicken broth (and beef and vegetable) are on my approved liquid list.  ....

And now that I've shared all these thoughts with y'all...please know - the thing first and foremost on my mind today is that I lost 1.5 pounds yesterday.  If I can do 1.5 today...I'll have lost 10 for the week.  And the week will actually only have been six days since I started this on Monday.  Come on 10 pounds!!!!