Alright then.
I've called you all together because I need your help.
With what you ask?
Yeah. That's the thing. I'm shy. I'm quiet. I don't talk much...until you meet me. But this...this is far beyond my comfort zone. I have tons of questions and I don't know who else to turn to.
Apparently I didn't take notes well enough on how to groom the whootananny. So can someone refresh my memory? Do we like the creams? Is the waxing idea better? And what, I beg you to tell me, is so wrong with having hair there?
Ok...now that that's out of my system, let's move on.
I also didn't take notes well enough on how to be a good little bandster. I just can't do mushies, liquids, protein shakes or otherwise long term or short term. My body is designed to eat food that I chew. So I will continue to do so, thank you very much.
Don't ask me where that came from unless you want a soliloquy on natural vs. fake.
I also, apparently, am not a "Lady". I believe that weightlifting is good for you. I just wish, for once that someone would be brave enough to tell me why we are so weightlifting averse. It's good for you! Long term, short term, everything. Builds muscle AND bone! Come on. We are women. Osteoperosis is a real problem. Did you know that something as simple as weightlifting can help avoid that?
And why, as a woman, do I have to think that muscles are improper for me? Not dainty? Phooey! I'll take my muscles and my stamina and my strength. I guess my military/sailor self is coming out there. That and my 'I can do it myself, dangit', attitude.
My mom used to tell me I scared men. Flat tire? Men would come running from all directions to help me change it. But here's me..."back off...I'll do it myself - it's my car, it's my tire, it's my problem!" She used to tell me - "let them woo you". I couldn't. Wooing, in some senses, meant proving I needed men...and I don't. It's a want - specifically one - my sweet hubby. But I did have to learn to let him take care of me. Now when it comes time to move a wheelbarrow of dirt around the house, through the grass, "oh sweetheart..." Somehow that helps. Sheesh.
Why, as a woman, do I have to think that bras are good? Can anyone explain this to me? I tried to wear one, a real one - the kind that perk you up and make things point in the "right" direction - on Saturday. I was not graceful about it. It fit - but no matter how well it "fits", it's still constrictive. I hate constriction. All to make men happy. I whined and griped halfway to the wedding and then I made my sweet hubby unhook it as I drove him to his party. Yes, me, the woman. I will not be driven. It's a contentious topic between my sweet hubby and I. He dared try tell me, once, when we first met, that it was "the man's job". I proceeded to not "let" him drive for years. I'm a stubborn ass. I know this. He does too. I have relaxed. But I still hate it! I just love to drive. Don't give me no stinkin 'man's job/woman's job' crap. If you love it - do it! I love it. I do not love vacuuming. But that's another topic. Back to bras. These contraptions are for men. Yeah, I'm one of those gals. So why is it I gotta wear this constrictive high-priced piece of metal and lace? My husband loves my boobies anyway! And who cares about anyone else!
I hate bras!
Next.
Why is it that I must always feel like I should be painting my face? I love makeup. I really do. I just can't seem to get it from the fancy contraptions that hold said powders and liquids and potions and lotions onto my face. Can't do it. Don't know if it's time...if it's lack of interest...don't know. Don't care. I do know, though, that I always feel like I should.
Next.
Anyone got any tricks for growing hair? Not a falling out issue. It's a 'it's too short' issue. I want a bob. I want hair. It looks hideous right now as I try to grow it out. There's not enough length anywhere to make it look decent. And my option is to cut it...to make it look decent...which gets me farther away from a bob. Dangit. I want my hair back.
Any wisdoms and opinions you care to proffer would be much appreciated.
And feel free to imbibe in the refreshing beverages as long as you like!
I'm with you on the bra thing...soon as I hit the door my "sling shot" as my husband refers to comes OFF!
ReplyDeletehaha! Wow...somebody feeling empowered today? Well, I'll address some of them. I change my own tires too and only wear makeup when I go out b/c I don't need to be all dolled up at home. I LIKE bras because I find jiggling uncomfortable. I don't like having hair THERE because once I went bear, it was too itchy to grow anything again. I drive everywhere mostly because I have the good car and neither of us LIKE to drive so it's a tossup. I think this can be the generation of women who says we can be whatever we want to be and give "feminine" a new definition.
ReplyDeleteYou can be who you want to be and any decrent person will respect you for that. Me, personally: I am a bra wearing, makeup wearing woman who would much rather have a man do things for me, even though I damn well know how to do it myself. I am a 50/50 girl. I can be vfery girlie, but can also be super casual about things. My husband loves me either way. As for the whootanany, I used to do a full wax all the time, but at $80 a pop, it was costly, so I prefer just to keep the hedge trimmed. I just perfer not to look like I have a Sasquatch in a headlock between my legs. It's just personal preference! :) Be your own woman!
ReplyDeleteI too hate bra's but to me they are a necessity! Nobody is the same, everyone has different opinions. I think its awesome that you stand up for your feelings regardless of what people think :) Good Job!! I don't know how to trim the whootananny either so it just comes off, ALL OFF!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Margarita :)
Too funny! I'm still laughing at all the comments. At $80 a pop for waxing, that is outside of a teacher's salary. :)
ReplyDeleteI can't count the number of times I have taken my bra off in the car while driving. That takes skill, to unsnap it and pull it out thru a sleeve. Just praying a policeman would not stop me and ask what I was doing. My husband finds bras in the car and knows not to even ask anymore. Soon as I'm done with an event, I can't wait to take it off. Even if it is pretty!
Hair extensions would speed things up. :)
Good questions for today!
Surgery Date: May 25
http://bandedandblogging.blogspot.com/
My dad taught me to change my own tires and I am proud to say I could if I wanted. I've just decided now that if it happens AAA is there for me. I just got back into makeup. You have to make it simple. I now use the new mineral makeup and love it. As to the hair, you have to find the right hair stylist. I went from really short to bob length and it is work but I like it. Even when a bunch is sitting in the drain when I wash it. Maybe once you lose more weight the bras will be better. If not-go au naturelle.
ReplyDeleteI am such the driver of the family. We are planning a trip this weekend and my hubby is well aware that I will probabally drive most of it. Just one of those things. It doesn't help that I let him borrow my car Sunday for 2 hours and when I went back out to the car the temperature gauge was set to celcius (not to be mean to our canadian friends but I don't understand it) I still haven't figured out how to change it back. My calendar also said Dec 2, 2001. Why in the h... would a 2004 car have a calendar that goes to 2001?
ReplyDeleteMy father also taught me that I didn't have to depend on a man. I have found with time that my husband doesn't mind it so much and I have reverted to having him do a lot of things.
I have to agree with Sandy Lee, I really like the mineral make-up. It is like wearing nothing at all.
These are all very good points and the fact that some of the lovely commenters above me are on the no bra/no makeup/I'll fix it myself bandwagon and others are on the push up bra/lots o' makeup/someone do this (I've got other things to do) bandwagon (or any combination in between) just shows how lucky we are to have OPTIONS in this day and age! As for me, I'm a bra wearin' makeup lovin' I'll do it myself type - unless it's taking out the garbage, thank you. =)
ReplyDeleteAs for the hair: I'm in a similar boat. My hair is curly and anything other than super short or really long looks silly. I've been wearing it short forever and I'm really anxious to get it long again. But it's hideous and I've been tempted to cut it time and time again. The one thing that's keeping me patient is the thought that right around the time I'll have lost about half my goal weight (in theory) my hair will be juuuuuuust right. So I'm going through this transition and just kinda accepting that my hair is what it is, but pretty soon all the pieces are going to fall into place! So...that's what's been helping me stay sane.
P.S. Mineral makeup is awesome! =)
Also: Le Mystere makes the BEST bras. I'm in the camp that finds *not* wearing a bra terribly uncomfortable, so finding the right one that's supportive and not restrictive was tough. But look up Le Mystere bras on Zappos and you might find yourself a real diamond - assuming you want to wear one in the first place. If not - keep 'em free!
ReplyDeleteWow there is a whole lot to comment on here. I hate going braless or damm I hurt.. Bad. One day and i almost want to cry.. Make up never wore it but am now wanting to.. I never wanted to draw attention to myself. Now I am like I feel good and want to do the same on the outside.. Nothing to do with my hubby he loves me braless and no makeup.. He is cute. Now the whootananny I am putting that as my 60 maybe my 70 lbs gone goal.. I am going in for a waxing will be my first.. I am so nervous and excited. Just a bikini wax feel weird losing it all.. You are such a strong person you already sound pretty set in your ways.. With the hair growth I am still losing some hair, but have a lot of new growth coming in as well.. Booo whooo I have also found some new greys.. Does that mean I am getting older. LOL... Take care.
ReplyDeleteA lot of topics I should stay away from here. But I will say that itis admirable on the flat tire thing. My daughter loves the "do for me" strategy and my wife feeds right into it.
ReplyDeleteyou go girl for being your own woman and damn what everyone else things.
ReplyDeletei used to hate bras too. i was very large brested before my breast reduction and i hated to wear bras cuz they hurt so bad. now they aren't a big deal. if i'm wearing a big sweatshirt i can run to the store without one and no one can tell. glorious i tell you! for when i'm in that kind of mood.
i also love to drive and change my own tire. i come from a long line of mechanics/truck drivers. it's in my blood.
as for the short hair. i love mine. my hair is jamie lee curtis short. has been since i was 16, with the exception of my wedding cuz i wanted it long.
from reading this blog and the comments it seems we're a much of women that know who we are and what we want. good for us.
I love it! Be Yourself and let everyone else be there self. Women are one of our biggest problems. They can be petty and hurtful, making us insecure and unhappy with ourselves. We are all beautiful... all shapes, sizes, & colors. Be kind to your fellow woman... she may be you one day. Work on your inside and not just your outside. Love each other and love yourself... It sounds simple enough but I have been called "Fat" much more often by women than by men or children... Which should tell us something. We are all different... girly, tough, sweet, shy, confident, muscular... That's what makes us so great! I loved this blog, you muscle bound, boob-swinging, clean-faced, do-it-yourself, fabulously self-sufficent girl!
ReplyDelete