I was hit hard with my uncle's news, he was the uncle that gave me away on my wedding day since I'd already lost both my dad and my step-dad. But now to have this news about my aunt not even two months later, I just am finding myself breaking into tears at incredibly random things - like the sky is beautiful today.
I'm not going to make my blog about my pain or heartbreak. I don't have the goal of bringing your smiles crashing down along with mine. But some of what is on my mind does come through in this blog. I find it sad that my plea for affirmation yesterday resulted in people unfollowing me. Really? Because I'm getting hit upside the face (and down) with life and I need just a little love? Really? May this never happen to whoever they were. Not once. I'm just gonna say, this isn't the first time I'm facing a fast-growing horrendous cancer with a loved one. I've endured more loss in my 35 years than some people do in a lifetime. I hate that. I hate that all around me is loss, is personal crime, is negativity. But I do love that in spite of it all, in spite of living more life in 35 years than some do in 80...I still have a smile on my face and my heart is still able to find peace. So if you want to unfollow me for being real...sleep well, my friend.
With that said...well...I could go on and talk about the latest band-related developments...but I won't. I'll save it for tomorrow and hopefully change gears a bit on this blog. Today, I just had to get this out there. Like the miscarriage and the personal trials of last month, I will try to not bring this up around here.
I'm soooo sorry. I wish I had more words to fix this.
ReplyDeleteDon't know what to say about people unfollowing you...weird.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your aunt. That is tough.
I'm so sorry you are having such a rough patch. It's not fair. And I can't imagine someone unfollowing you because you are venting on your blog. If you can't let off some steam here, where can you? XO
ReplyDeleteWe will still be listening no matter what you want to say in your blog. It's where we can really be ourselves. If it feels good to vent keep it up. I noticed a follower gone but I think it was just someone who stopped blogging and deleted their account-it would delete all the blogs they follow. If you want to see who visits your blog you should add Feedjit as a gadget. I have it on mine and it's nice sometimes to see all the cities and countries that people come from. Today there was one from Moscow Russia. Cool.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right-you have endured more in your 35 years than I have in my 56 years. I do know that the memories you have are your best support. I think you might still be going through some hormone changes after the miscarriage and it's just adding to your stress.
So lovely lady, keep on telling it like it is here on your blog. We really are out here reading your stuff. I hate that you are sad and like Bonnie said, it isn't fair.
Brush those unfollowers off. You don't need them around anyway. I am sorry things are so bad in your world right now. I wish I had something to say that would help the pain go away.
ReplyDeleteI'm still here and I'm not going to tell you what to write about on your blog, but if you ever DO want to talk about it or have a shoulder to cry on or ear to vent and scream into, email me. Please. Don't hide it all away or keep it inside. More hugs than you realize are being sent to you virtually from florida. Stay strong, my friend! Oh and as for the unfollowers, fuck 'em. It happens to me too!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you and your family are suffering. You're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteDitto to what Steph said about the followers- you don't need people who can't handle the bad news along with the light-hearted blogs. It takes a great deal of courage to write about the challenges you've been thru lately. While my heart hurts for you, I admire you so much for putting it all there in such a graceful way as you have. You are right, you have dealt with more at 35 than most have in a lifetime. I pray that things turn around healthwise for your family.
ReplyDeleteStill here and reading. It's your blog, you should write about what you want, positive or negative. I hope you and your family get a break soon!
ReplyDeleteTo hell with the unfollowers. They obviously have a whole different set of issues. So sorry you're going through this right now. Vent away...cry away....and do whatever you need to do to make it through this time. We're here for you.
ReplyDeleteDon't let a couple of people who decide to unfollow u keep u from using ur blog however u feel u need to. I am really sorry for all that ur family is going through. I wish I could say something to make u feel better, but since I can't, here's a hug ((((hug))))
ReplyDeletePardon my french, but screw them. Their loss.
ReplyDeleteYou blog about any and everything you need to. We are here to support and encourage you.
*Hugs*
I am so sorry Lori. I love that you can still have a smile and find peace though. That is the attitude I look for in people I love most.
ReplyDelete