04/21/10: Back to work...again

Howdy y'all.  It's Wednesday.  I'm ready for the weekend.  :)

I ended up going home right after lunchtime on Monday.  I ended up calling in sick on Tuesday.  I feel all kinds of better today but still not great.

I think sitting up on Monday - and even leaning forward at my desk as I am prone to do - caused problems.  I think that on top of my rather normal weekend left me in a bad situation.  Monday afternoon it started to feel like I was losing the battle but I thought if I went home I'd get it under control and be fine for Tues.  Wrong.  When I woke up Tues, I was even worse off than on Mon.  So what did I do yesterday?  I layed in bed all day.  I took a shower mid-morning but other than that, I layed in bed.

I had a boob job when I was in the Navy.  Funny story that I am not going to talk about here.  What I will say is following that surgery I was told to take two weeks off.  And I did.  When a Navy doc says something, you do it.

I thought, when I read that people usually took a week with this surgery, that this surgery must be "easier" than a boob job if you only need a week.

I don't think that now.  In fact, I think, if you are being wise and PRO-active, then you will take TWO weeks off with this surgery.  There is no need to rush it, I don't think, and in fact, if you do, you are more likely to end up hurting and with a slower recovery.

My boob job was "easier" because I only had one breast augmented and to make it look more natural, since I still have one natural boob, the implant was placed on top of the muscle.  If it had been under the muscle, it would have been sewn in and it would appear perkier.  But under the muscle is a much harder surgery to recover from.

The lap-band surgery goes into muscle, too.  And dangit if it aint the port that's causing about 99% if my pain/discomfort.  Yeah, the remainder (all 1%) is just the incisions and the fact that they itch like crazy right now.  I'm not complaining about that, though, that's GOOD!  I know I want the dermabond off.  I know I believe that my whole belly will feel a little better when the dermabond is gone. 

I was told that Vaseline helps to loosen the dermabond bond and that I should start applying Vaseline after about a week.  So Sunday night I did just that.  Put some Vaseline on and went to bed.   Same with Monday and Tuesday.  And it feels/appears that nothing is loosening.  When I googled that earlier it says I have to rub the Vaseline in.  I will try that tonight.

So I wish I'd taken two weeks.  If I'd been more aware I would have just done short-term disability and I'd be paying attention to me this week, too.  But, for some odd reason, there seems to be a push to appear normal quickly after this surgery.  I read all over the place about people that think a week is fine.  Maybe for some it is.  I think for most, it's not.  Yes, after a week I do feel better.  But I do not feel normal.  I do not have normal energy levels and I am still in pain and uncomfortable.  Generally speaking, Tylenol is dealing with my pain and I am taking the Lortab at night.  But, generally speaking, I am still worried about getting up and down, still not able to get up and down as easily as I'd like to.  I want to be taking naps and just generally be letting my body do what it needs to do.  I don't think my boss would have been surprised by two weeks, in fact, I think it would have been fine.  Yes, this week at home would have been a lot different than last week.  Last week I was sleeping all the time and generally could not get comfortable.  Now, I can get comfortable-ish and I don't need or want nearly as much sleep.  But no matter how you put it, I am still not normal this week.  And I know that car rides are brutal.  Everything is bouncing and jiggling and moving around and the pain levels get kicked up a few notches after a car ride.  For me, I have an hour and a half in the car in the morning and again in the afternoon to get to work and those car rides are leaving me exhausted.

Anyway, there's my rant for the day.  If you can take more than a week off, do so.  I think two weeks would be just right, based on a desk job.  If you are thinking a desk job is easy, you just go and sit, let me just say, even sitting is uncomfortable.  For one hour here or there, not so big a deal.  But to be in the same position for more than an hour at a time makes things hurt. 

Not much else going on with me.  I gained back 3 pounds of the 31 lost so I'm no longer sitting at my 25% lost.  That's ok.  For the past two days I've held steady at my current weight of 236 so I think switching back to mostly normal-to-mushy food has balanced out and I think I'll hold steady now until loss really starts.  I know that last week I had "restriction" mostly due to swelling and now I think I am not swollen at all.  :)  I was burping every time I took a sip of something and I could feel things going down very slowly.   Now, no burping and while I still feel things going down, it's not nearly as slowly as it was.  I believe that's to be expected, given that there is no real restriction with the band right now.  I know I can eat whatever I want and I am using will-power to not.  I am trying to stick with mushies, predominantly and, for the most part, it's working.  What isn't mushy I chew the hell out of, I can say that much.  I know that I am looking forward to my first fill on May 12th because I want to see how it compares.

And that first fill also scares the bejesus out of me.  It will be the one and only appt I have with my surgeon and I think he'll know I didn't follow his post-op diet as I don't expect I'll lose much of anything in the next few weeks.  I can't weightlift yet, not that I want to at the moment anyway.  So I don't think there will be any loss - although if I followed his post-op diet, I think there would be.  There's part of me that's tempted to switch back to his diet as I don't want to explain to him why I disagree.  And I know me.  If he asks why no weightloss, I will say "because I think your diet is bunk".  If he doesn't ask, I won't say a word.  And so I'd rather he not ask.  And I suspect the only way to get him to not ask is to lose "a normal amount" over the next few weeks.

Although I also know this time is about healing, not losing.  Which is why I want to do what I am doing, which is follow the bariatric center's instructions.

And then part of me thinks, too...Hey, I'm banded now.  :)  It's not about how fast I can lose.  It's about making wise choices most of the time.  And following the bariatric center's instructions is that.  Wise choices most of the time.  And I'd love to see this play out!  I mean...I am not centered on weightloss right now, I'm centered on healing.  But I do know I am eating less.  I am even already playing with times.  I eat 4oz at a time.  How long does 4oz hold me over?  Last Friday, I couldn't even finish 4oz.  And it satisfied me just fine.  Friday, 3oz total for dinner at 8pm and I didn't eat anything again until Sat morning around noon.  Yesterday, 4oz at lunch lasted two hours before I was hungry again...given that I'm not even remotely restricted, which I don't think I should be at this stage, now the trick is finding the amount that holds me over best.  I want to eat 3 meals a day.  I drank 12oz of my smoothie this morning followed by my first cup of coffee since banded.  When will I eat lunch?  I am not interested in it, yet.  I won't eat it until I am interested.  Lunch will be 4oz of chicken salad - at least it can be.  Will I eat it all?  How long will it last? 

No, I don't think I'll switch back to my surgeon's instructions.  I think I'll keep going with my bariatric center's instructions and see how this goes.  To me, part of making this work will be to develop a routine and being back at work will be much more conducive to that.

And no matter how you cut it, something is different.  I could not eat 4oz of food prior to Monday April 12th and be even remotely satisfied.  So something must be going on inside the belly...  :)

Sorry this is so long today - especially since it says nothing.  Just thinking through my fingertips!!!

And now it's time to get reading.  Will I, (can I?) get caught up on all the wonderful blogs I've missed in the past week and a half?  I'm sure gonna try!!!