11/18/10: Back to Work

I'm back to work today.  I wish I could say I was back to work with no pain, but that's not true and I don't like to lie.

It's been an interesting non-day.  I went to see my Dermatologist for my follow-up this morning and to get the sutures removed.  That appt has made my day be a half day and I think that's worked well for a first day back.

I had the impression from the call I got yesterday that the idea of this being a microbaterial infection was out as "the culture showed no growth".  Well, apparently, the culture shows no growth yet is what my Dr. actually says (it was one of the residents that gave me the call yesterday).  And for the growth that my Dermatologist expects to see, it can be as long as eight weeks for something to appear.  He's so confident that is what this is that he went ahead and put me on antibiotics - the kind strong enough for most microbacteria.  With the pregnancy over and no reason not to, he kind of figured, let's just get it done so we can be that much closer to trying again when my body normalizes itself.

I go back again in four weeks for my next follow-up.  I have two weeks of this antibiotic ahead of me and then we'll regroup from there.  He thought we might have results by the time I go in again.  So we'll see how these antibiotics, do.

My husband went with me today as I am not going to let myself drive so long as I'm still taking vicodin.  He drove me and then we were going to head to work but we needed to run home to grab my cell phone (forgot it again) and we figured we'd go ahead and drop off the prescription for this new antibiotic so we can pick it up tonight.  He met my Dermatologist and he really liked him.  So much so that we immediately scheduled an appt for my hubby on the same day as and just before my next appt so that he can get some problem spots/issues looked at/addressed.  My hubby never wants to see a Dr. so the fact that he liked this guy speaks volumes.

And yet again, my Derm went on and on about how this case/situation is every Dermatologist's dream.  They deal with all the "boring stuff, like acne, skin tags, and sun spots in the hopes that someone like me will walk in with a true problem that is just so interesting".  I love that my Dermatologist loves me.  :)  I wish I didn't have to be dealing with this, though.  Like I said yesterday or the day before, though, I believe this guy is going to help me get to the bottom of all of this and help me get it resolved.

He commiserated with us for awhile on the miscarriage, too.  That was pretty sweet to both my husband and I.  I made the declaration that we won't be trying again until this issue is resolved - and he wants us to try again soon so he basically said he'll do what it takes to get me fixed ASAP.

It was a great appt.  I'll keep you posted if anything new happens or changes.  I'll be curious to see how I do with this antibiotic, apparently it can cause reflux and stomach issues and he was worried about how I might do with it with the band.

Other than that, it's back to work.  My hubby and I used my late arrival as a reason to go out to lunch with a colleague of mine that we are good friends with.  So we had a nice lazy long lunch which gave me a rather late arrival time.  And now it's just about time to go.  It's been a nice first day back.  Tomorrow will be good, too - we have a "knowledge share" followed by our Thanksgiving lunch - so it will be another long lunch.  And I'm in good shape to actually get some work working tomorrow, too.

Last thing I want to add/talk about is this club that I now seem to be a part of.  The miscarriage club.  It's a club I never wanted to join and I'm sure most other members don't want to be a part of it, either.  But I am finding such comfort in not being alone.  When somehow, for some reason, the topic comes up, I am amazed to learn of just who else this has happened to.  I am comforted by their stories and by knowing that my husband and I are not alone.  Each story I hear/read helps me to move forward.  That is something so totally different about this grief.  Losing my mom - I am not comforted at all when I hear of another person who lost their mother.  Losing friends, family, being raped, etc - never comforted by the "it happened to me, too" stories.  But this loss...it is strangely comforting and peace-giving to hear the stories of others.  I find that unlike many of the horrific things in my life that I just want to not talk about, this one, I actually do.  I want to hear the other stories, the other perspectives, the other situations and the end result.  I don't want to think of anyone else feeling sadness or disappointment over the dreams lost, that's not what I'm saying.  But, in one of the few instances where this happens, the club I never wanted to join is turning out to be my greatest comfort.

And just to give an update on the "I think my husband is mad at me" aspect of yesterday's blog, well, he assures me that while on Tuesday, he was mad at me, yesterday, he wasn't.  And while he did tell me he was mad at me on Tuesday, and he did talk about it, he didn't really get into the why.  And last night I got him to get into the why behind it.  And I think he was glad to talk.  Yes, the majority of what was going on was his sadness over the miscarriage and not being able to fix the pain for me.  He told me last night that I am very needy right now and it's understandable and he's happy to help me, but I guess he wasn't expecting this at all.  He knows it's the pain, as, over the weekend, before the cramps, I was not acting like this - and, like me, he never thought it would get worse later.

The pain is still there today but the bleeding has stopped.  So I hope that means that the cramps are going to be a thing of the past soon.

And that's all I know.