09/28/10: Ok then

So since I don't really want to talk about what's really bothering me (the absence of the BOOBs from the blogging community and my ensuing feelings of being abandoned), I'll talk about fluff instead.

For starters...I will say...I still miss you, all you BOOBs.  You all really make a difference in my blog and therefore my journey.  Does this make me codependent?

So yesterday I kicked up my weights A LOT.  I'm talking about squatting 100 pounds type of a lot.  Tonight I'll be bench pressing the same.  That's not a lot of weight, no, I'm not delusional enough to think I'm strong.  (But I am.)  But considering that I'm working back up...and with my last "five week cycle" I was squatting just an olympic bar...and benching "just" an olympic bar (they weigh 45 pounds just by themselves)...well...this was a jump.

And it was awesome.

This is where I want to be.  The weights I am lifting now...I believe these will generally sustain me through the rest of my downward journey.  And once at goal, I can back them back off again.

Last week I was lifting my week 3 (week 3 is my super "heavy" week) of my previous week 5 cycle weights.  Which had me at 60 lb squats and 50 pound presses.  Last week was fun and it was work.  But this week starts week 2 and week 2 is more than week 1, of course.  And next week will be ridiculous.  I'm so excited!

Last night I felt so alive.  My muscles were crying for something to "feed them" after my workout and I gave them chocolate and gatorade (not together).  And not very much at all - one mini and one glass.  It's amazing, to me, if I listen to what my body is asking for - I can't overdo it.  My body told me when I'd had enough gatorade.  My body told me that the mini dark chocolate piece I ate was plenty.  And it all was.  One of the things that has changed is that my brain listened to my body and simply said "you know best" and didn't try to persuade me that anymore was necessary.

Which leads to a conversation with our roomie in my kitchen last night.  He's a major fitness buff and he lifts daily and is married to his own personal trainer (how they met).  And we stood in my kitchen with him starting the conversation with "I just can't believe how amazing you are looking".  "It's obvious you know what you are doing in the gym and your hard work is paying off."

(This following my month long binge on ice cream!  HA!)

So the conversation ensues...listening to our bodies.  Sometimes we crave carbs.  If I listen to my body instead of my brain...guess what - carbs have a purpose.  If I listen to my body instead of my brain, then my brain can backtrack and realize "yeah, we haven't had any carbs in like a week.  No shit!"  So we can eat carbs.  Or protein.  Or even something as specific as gatorade.  I rarely drink gatorade but we always keep a can/jar/bottle thingy of powder around.  And when I suddenly get the taste for it...there's really a reason.  If I talk myself out of it "because I don't need the calories" then I'm in for a binge.  If I let myself have it, the "tooth" is satisfied and we all move on.

I am learning that I have to start trusting this.  I really do.  And that's a hard trick to pull off.  Because sometimes hormones...um...well...screw it all up.

Which is why I love this whole BBT tracking thing I talked about yesterday.  It's been so much more than just figuring out when I ovulate...never knew...but I believe it could help a number of people to figure out what's going on and be able to be proactive vs. reactive.  I love proactivity!

TJ - you asked yesterday if I'm tracking body fat % or lean mass lost.  I'm not tracking lean mass lost but I am vaguely aware of what it's doing (it's generally steady).  Body fat %, though, yes.  I actually had to go buy myself a set of calipers and I measure about once a month.  I can say it's why I'm not worried about my BMI so much at all because my percent body fat is currently at 29% which puts me staunchly in an average category.  My BMI is still "obese" but it's muscle content that I'm carrying, not necessarily fat (although there's still plenty of it).

But now that you said something, yeah, I probably will start tracking it.  :)  Both would be good information to have at hand.  Like inches speaking when the scale can't/doesn't/won't - body fat and/or lean mass will follow my inches which do steadily drop.

Anywho, have a great day, y'all!  I hope all the BOOBs are getting rested and relaxed after such a fun weekend.