09/29/10: Things I've Learned

So yesterday I made an offhanded remark about feeling abandoned.  And now I'm ready to blog about the weirdness you traveling BOOBs might not realize occurred.

In general, I think it can be said that "we" missed you.  But since I'm really only supposed to talk about myself in statements I make about feelings, I can say I definitely missed you all.

So I made my remark:
So since I don't really want to talk about what's really bothering me (the absence of the BOOBs from the blogging community and my ensuing feelings of being abandoned), I'll talk about fluff instead.

For starters...I will say...I still miss you, all you BOOBs. You all really make a difference in my blog and therefore my journey. Does this make me codependent? 
 
and a couple of the traveling BOOBs spoke up and said:
Jennifer: Hi Lori - I think we are all still recovering and catching up! Sorry you feel we abandoned you. We'll all be back to posting and commenting very soon. It's been a real trip. The preparation and recovery took more out of me than I thought it would.
LOVE YOU!
Jenny

Drazil: Ditto what Jenny said. And I got your email and I will respond. I love you too...and you were always in our thoughts at every moment. You are a BOOB through and through!

Jacquie: Ditto, Ditto what Jenny and Draz said!

I am just getting into my routine today and that means, I am back on the blogs. I have spin class at 5:30 and I am actually looking forward to it! I think I was the only boring BOOB who went to the gym on Friday morning!


A fellow abandoned type, Dinnerland: So, I guess I wasn't 'alone' in feeling lonely in blog world. All those 'boobs' were out there interacting in the real world and we were wanting some attention too!
It's all good, I think our blog world is picking up again.
You are rocking the weights.
Wow.

And finally, Bonnie: Hopefully you'll be able to make the next trip. Sounds like you are kicking ass with weight lifting.

I made my remark not to make anyone feel bad but to get the traveling BOOBs to realize the true impact you all make on this community.  Your absence has been duly noted.  And not just over the weekend that you traveled!  You all, checked out, so to speak, about a week before you left.  Then you left.  And now you're back but you are all wandering in at varying degrees.

When you checked out, well, it was weird.  I'd write a blog and get absolutely no feedback.  Ouch.  Not personal, though, that I knew.  Still...I hadn't foreseen that and so was surprised.

I know from reading other non-traveling BOOBs blogs that I was not the only one feeling this way.  It was odd.

When you left, well, I expected you'd be gone.  And so it was.

And now that you are back, I expect y'all to be processing and absorbing and sleeping and resting and sorting through the awesome weekend that it was.  I expect y'all to be posting blogs filled with pictures regaling us non-traveling BOOBs with the awesomeness of the weekend.  No one has disappointed and it's been an absolute pleasure to read and see what you experienced.  Most everyone has walked away with incredibly warm fuzzy feelings and I think a lot of you were flat out scared that it might be a cat-fight fest.  What wonderful news (and no surprise) that it absolutely wasn't.

But there's another part of this story.  Those of us "left behind".  We, the ones that did not attend, all had a variety of reasons behind not attending.  I, for one, may not be able to attend the next one, either.  But I know that when I can, I will.  I have not been jealous once about what you ladies were able to experience and while I'm slightly sad that I didn't get to go to the first gathering, my life and my situation made this decision for me and it is what it is.  Getting angry, jealous, sad, frustrated or anything negative about my inability to participate won't help me. 

So while I (and many other non-traveling BOOBs) have been making offhanded remarks about missing you, feeling abandoned, wondering where on earth you've gone even though you are right here...it's because of what I never saw coming.  And I'm not sure you, the traveling BOOB have any idea of it.

Here it is.  In a nutshell.

The lap-banded blogging community nearly shut down.  You just took away 50 amazing women for nearly two weeks.  Yep.  Your weekend was a week in buildup, the weekend, and now the week to absorb.  And I could venture the week in buildup was even longer in a few cases.  Some BOOBs checked out over a month ago.  Don't get me wrong.  No one suffered because of this "abandonment" (and I use the term because it most closely fits, but I truly know that I was not nor have I ever been abandoned) but there were a lot of us left at our own computers left wondering "why am I even posting?"  Barely anyone was reading. 


It made me realize the real power of comments.  I don't get a lot of comments, on average, anyway, but when they drop by half (and half of not many is very little, in case you didn't know) it's noticeable.

It made me realize that while this blog is about me and for me, it's also a way of seeking affirmation and that good ol' support thing.  The support didn't go away...but it was different.

Anyway, all this to say, you traveling BOOBs...you matter.  To a lot of us.  I was not the only one thinking and feeling as I did.  I gained fuel in saying something because others were, too.

And I'm not singing a pity song here, it's not about that.  I wanted to try to explain to the travelers what your impact truly is.  It's far more than the friendships you brought to real life this weekend.  It's all these tiny little strings that stretch all over the world.  But real life or not, we all were affected by this past weekend.

Love you, BOOBs.  I am soooo incredibly glad that you all enjoyed such a fantastic weekend and I look forward to the day when I get to join one of these trips.  Hopefully it's sooner rather than later.

(This blog is truly NOT about me.  It is to try to illustrate to the BOOBs how awesome you all are, how awesome this community is, and how this weekend was felt by more than just the people in attendance.  This weekend drove home to me (and probably more than just me) the importance of all of you that DID go.  I hope this blog leaves you with an "aw" feeling and not a "dang, but she's a dumbass" feeling.)