01/06/11: This Year...

Do you ever say to yourself...if this happens then it means that?  i.e. if this then that?  Basics of philosophy 101?

I was driving to pick up my hubby from work last night, as we do on M/W/F's.  And I said to myself, as I was pulling into traffic leaving my job, if I get to my hubby without a single red light, then this year is going to be awesome.

I have never "if this then that"ed that before.  And it's also never happened.  In the two years we have had our driving/commuting/carpooling arrangement like it currently is, I have never had all greens on my way to get him.  I might have all greens on my end of town...but by the time I'm close to him, there's a red or two.

Yesterday...saying that for the very first time ever with that traveled path...it happened.  I got all greens.  I had no traffic on I10.  I did not sit at a light waiting for it to change.  I did not brake with the intention of stopping ever on that 15 mile drive that takes 20 minutes.

So apparently this year is gonna rock.

And I feel like it, too.  Today, the sixth day of January, I can now say, "I feel like 2011 is going to be a great year!"

Attitude is everything, that I know.  My step-dad used to "accuse" me of being the person whose biggest piles of shit were still rosebuds in a vase.  Not because bad things never happened to me but because I always, apparently, have managed to find a way to smile through it.  I have always been able to keep my upbeat positive mentality.  I am that rock for my friends and family that no matter what is going on with me, I can prop them up, too.  They all baffle at my "strength"...which is funny, cause I don't particularly think I'm strong.  I just think life is too short and all that mumbo jumbo...

It's funny to me, rereading Tuesday's blog.  I said I don't like who I am in the face of grief.  You know why I say/said that?  Cause in the face of grief, I give myself permission to, as Drazil posted this week, take the dead end and just sit there.  And because of that, I proclaim I don't like who I am in the face of grief.  A tad harsh...but that's me.  Harsh.  No fading to black here, when I think something, I think it.

And that's funny.  Because I am so not a black and white type of person.  I know that most of life is in the grey.  I know the beauty of life is found there, the humor, the fun times, the sad times, the times worth living...it's all in the grey.  The black and the white...well, they exist, too.  There are truths and then there are realities.  I get all of that.  So why am I so black and white with how I feel about myself some of the time.

Anywho.  All that to say, this year is gonna be awesome.

Not only did my 'if this then that' work out yesterday...but then I went home and worked on our budget for the year.  I updated it and spent time with it because my company is switching from bimonthly checks to biweekly.  It changes things a lot more than I expected.  My husband and I approached this year as thinking we were going to have another year of scrimping and saving to finish building up a more than adequate cushion.  Turns out, we were wrong.  This year, we can finally relax and enjoy our hard work of last year!  Which does not mean go blow it all or forget what we learned.  It just means we might actually get to do most all of what we want to do this year.

We started planning vacations and we built in a road trip for nearly two weeks.  Our biggest catch there was not whether we had the funds to do so, even to do so how we want to.  But whether or not I'd have the time to take.  I looked today.  I DO!

We went out to eat last night at our favorite sushi joint which can get expensive at this particular restaurant.  We usually order three rolls, an appetizer and drinks and have a bill of $60.  Turns out, Weds are half price night.  We hadn't been there in so long that we had absolutely no idea!  Our normally $60 bill was $30 - after tip - and we tipped like it was $60!

Nothing was spectacular about yesterday.  We woke up, got up, got dressed, went to work, ate lunch, went back to work, left work, got ourselves back to each other, headed home, went to our sushi joint, went home, curled up with our computers and our tv shows, then went to bed.  But in all of that I found my Mt. Everest of hope!  It just feels like everything I touched or toyed with or played with surprised me with fantastic responses.  (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

And I woke up today KNOWING.  Absolutely KNOWING.  That this year will be a good year.

I am sure it will have trials and tough times, just like all years do.  But I feel like the tribulations will be more numerous than not.  And I like that feeling.  I'll do what it takes to keep that feeling.  I'll use my discipline and I'll keep it!

And I'm one pound away from onederland.  Nope, didn't make my New Year's goal of onederland before the New Year, but eh...I did nothing to get there...so I'm not surprised or disappointed.  It's coming.  That's what I know.  We have our plan and I know that my dedication to my goals is going to get me there soon.

180's by valentines day is my next goal.  That's 39 days to lose 12 pounds.  Seems doable...if I do it.

So my question to you is...how's your year shaping up in your head?

I'll end with one of my favorite sayings.  I'm thinking it's a guide for my year.

If you think you can, you will.
If you think you can't, you will.