08/17/2012: Let's try some good news today...

I am losing "followers" left and right.  That's sad to me.  I hope life never does to those "friends" what life is doing to my Husby and I right now.

I think what's particularly sad to me is that two of these bloggers are faves of mine.  People I couldn't begin to fathom unfollowing.  People I am friends with on Facebook whom I have had conversations with outside of the blogging realm.  People I love and admire and am inspired by.  But they don't want to follow my blog anymore.  And that just outright hurts.

But then, given that I'm a devil's advocate and I always examine ALL sides of a coin, I understand why, too. Bad news blog in and blog out is just not fun to follow.  I know this blog isn't one that anyone turns to, of late, for light-hearted, good, fun reading.

I would hope, though, that people can stick with me.  If you knew me before I had my babies you know I am not a person who lives life in the dumps.  I can be passionate about what I have an opinion about, but I am not an angry or sad person, by nature.  By nature I am happy, joyful, and as too many have proclaimed is actually a problem in my case - carefree.  I am blamed, in real life, of being many people's source of energy.

I know my health battles suck and I'm sure it's not fun to read.  It's hella not fun to live!  For those of you that are sticking with me - I appreciate that beyond words.  For those that take the time to comment when I do blog a miserable blog - I appreciate that more than you'll ever know and I love you for each comment and each moment in time you take to reach out to me gives me so much more than you know!  So for those still here - just thank you.  Thank you thank you thank you.  And please please please don't abandon me now.  I'll get through this.  Husby'll get through this.  And we'll all get back to our happy go-lightly lives here in Houston and then you'll be back to wishing I'd slow down and chillax a bit!

One blogger out there has heard my voice.  It's a blogger that absolutely hates talking on the phone and so when I call, I send text messages in advance telling her not to answer the phone and that I'm going to leave a message.  Ask her what comes through in my voice.  Then you'll know that the problems of late, the down and out coming through in my writing - that's not me.  And I promise, if that blogger heard my voice today, she'd know, I'm a'ight.

I come here to write.  I usually write raw.  I read it for dumb spelling or grammatical errors, but I don't go overboard with editing.  And then I publish.  It's amazing to read things again a year later.  This is a span of time that I'd rather forget.  But to forget this, I'd have to forget what Blue and Green are up to, too.  So I need this blog to stay real.

Ok, so I said "let's try some good news today".  You ready?

I'm losing weight!  It's awesome!  15 pounds in about 2.5 weeks - which seems like an awful lot.  Basically since my unfill.  My band is completely deflated, you might remember I mentioned that about 2.5 weeks ago.  And it's still pretty snug.  I still have to be pretty cognizant of how I am eating.  But what's nice about the past two and a half weeks is I am not struggling at all to get good food in.  I swear I've been eating good foods for the past nearly three months but the scale continued to climb, anyway.  Since that unfill, though, it's been steadily falling.  And I'm not doing anything different.  It's just falling.  I don't think my eating was ever bad - at least not for the past 3 months.  Prior to that, yes.  But lately, it's been good.  So it was getting depressing that in spite of eating well, I just continued to gain.  Now, without changing anything, just fill level, I'm losing.  That's awesome!

It's nice!  It's giving me a ton of motivation!  We got the gym all cleaned up and I am back to working out.  Last weekend, Friday night, as I was driving home to my Husby and my beautifuls I suddenly had an idea for how to make workouts happen for both Husby and I.

It is important to me that Husby and I are both involved with bedtime.  But who says we both have to do bedtime together?  So that's our answer.  He does bedtime by himself three nights a week.  I do bedtime by myself three nights a week.  And during that chunk of time is when either of us not doing bedtime gets our workout in.  That way we aren't working out at 9pm - which no doubt would leave me unable to sleep for hours.  Instead, we are done with workouts by 8:30.  So still a good chunk of time to get showered and watch a show or whatever it is we want to do to relax.

It's awesome to finally have a plan that's working and lets us both do what we want!  We might play with still doing bedtime jointly Fri-Sun as Fri night we can both get in workouts before bed and since we don't have to worry about what time the alarm is going off on Sat, there's no reason to be worried about what time we are done with working out.  But that's just a flexibility thing.  That's awesome, too - to have some flexibility in this.  That also allows for makeup days if a workout can't happen on a designated night for some reason - and things happen...you know?

Not much else going on with us.  Nothing new with Husby.  He has an appt Monday afternoon but nothing should really change as nothing is really happening right now.  Not much going on with me, either.  Well, wait, I guess that's a lie.  I started taking a birth control pill to make my period stop.  Stopping my period would theoretically give me relief from the endometriosis and, at the very least, stop it from growing anymore.  I am supposed to take the pills that are hormones and throw out the sugar pills that are for the (.) days.  Well, I was two weeks into my first pack and I started my (.).  How do you start a (.) in the middle of a cycle?  No, it wasn't spotting.  It was a full on (.) with full on cramps and full on bloating.  It was a HEAVY (.), too.  So I stopped the BC pills.  I hate jacking with hormones but if I'm going to jack with hormones and still not get the desired result from it, still have to deal with the whole mess I'm already dealing with - well, I'll just deal with my mess and skip that jacking with hormones.  Wouldn't you agree?  I am trying to work with that endo specialist doc to see if he wants to try something else.  But so far, nothing.  I think right now I'm more scared than I've ever been that when I go back to see him mid-Sept he's going to say "I can't help you".  His thinking at the end of the last visit that I had with him was "let's work with this GI [the one I think is a quack] and see if we can fix this by working on what you're eating.  If that doesn't work then we'll visit the idea of surgery when I see you in Sept."  Well, quack's stuff isn't doing a danged thing.  No surprise there.  Other than give me bills because my insurance company doesn't agree with his quackiness.  And surgeon's stuff isn't doing anything either.  Thank God I have my pain specialist.  He's helping.  He took me off the patches because they weren't working.  That's nice!  Oh, and I saw the urogynecologist last week. She seems pretty nice, too.  And helpful.  She does think I have IC (Interstitial Cystitis) and so I get to do some fun bladder tests over the next couple of months to prove it.  Don't know what the fix will be...but...cross that bridge when we get to it.

Anyway, there's my latest.  Not much of anything.  I've never ever had a problem with BC in the past.  I've been on a variety of pills, on depo provera - and nothing has ever caused a problem for me.  I think I've even been on this particular BC in the past.  My body is just sooooo out of whack right now.  It's just beyond bizarre.  I am so ready to put this chapter to rest and move on.

I know I said good news today...but I felt the need to do the update.  And with that out of the way, let me switch to some great stories of Blue and Green.

Green is turning into such a momma's boy.  He sure knows how to melt my heart!  It's becoming a common occurrence for him to crawl to where ever I am standing or sitting.  When he gets to my feet he turns around to sit on his bum.  And then reaches right up for me.  Once in my arms, he grabs hold of my shirt on either shoulder and pulls himself as close as he can and then nuzzles his little head into my shoulder.  It is so sweet.  He'll hold the hug as long as he can.  Daddy was starting to feel a little left out and Green seemed to finally realize that last night so he did that with Daddy a couple times to show him it goes both ways.  That made Daddy smile in a way I've never seen before - and that melted my heart even more.  Finally a little tidbit about Green,  he is definitely going to be our little scientist.  He is so funny!  He has a process with everything he touches.  A very scientific process.  Whatever it is he is picking up, he does these same three things before either playing with it or putting it down and moving onto something else.  He picks the thing up.  He uses all four fingers together, straight out, in a waving motion to see if the thing moves, he's really checking for a spin.  Once he decides that, he then turns it all around - up down side to side - and then shakes it to see if it makes noise.  Finally, he puts it in his mouth to decide if it's good for the teething discomfort.  Once he's done with this process, he'll either play with it for a bit or put it down.  If it responded best to the waving motion thing, he does more of that with his play.  If it responded best to being shaken or whatever, he does more of that with his play.  If it was a teething ring, then he gnaws on that for a bit.  It's just so amazing to me, though, that he has this process with everything he does and he really uses the feedback to determine how best to play.  What's even funnier is Blue will watch him do all this and once he sees what Green figured out, Blue will decide whether he wants to play with it himself.  Most all the toys we have we have two of so Blue will usually get his own.  Sometimes, though, the other isn't easily found and Blue will then decide he needs what Green has and he'll take it. Green usually just says "whatever" and gets a new toy.

Blue, on the other hand, has an entirely different attitude.  When Green takes something from him Blue has no tolerance for that.  I find that hilarious, too.  Such different personalities!  Funnily enough, I'd say Blue is actually the more easy-going baby.  No matter what, they are both very easy-going.  Husby and I are beyond blessed with these guys!!!

Blue is absolutely sweet as can be, too.  He is an instigator, that's for sure, but he likes to make you think he's an angel.  I wish I had seen this one for myself, but I didn't, I heard about it at daycare one day when we picked him up.  I can just see him doing this, though, so I'ma tell the story anyway.   Blue and Green have their own cribs at daycare, of course.  The cribs all line the walls with a great big playroom in the center of the room.  They used to always try to keep Blue and Greens' cribs together.  But about a month ago they had to split them up.  Blue would always reach through the bars and grab at his brother trying to wake him up.  Knowing that Green needed his naps, too, they moved Blue to a different crib.  Well, this week, Blue decided Green had slept enough.  He had gotten up from his nap about 30 minutes before this happened, they said.  They said he just kept looking at Green with a face that said "wake up bro!" but Green would just not wake up.  So eventually Blue crawls himself over to Green's crib.  At this point, everyone is watching to see what he's up to.  He stands at Green's crib and kind of grunts at him.  I don't know what it is with these two, but they do this grunting thing that is hilarious.  It's not a real grunt, but it's like "hunh" with a deep basey voice.  And they'll just go "hunh, hunh, hunh" three times in a row really quickish then be quiet then do it again.  A lot of the time whoever did it first will wait to see if the other responds but sometimes whoever is doing it will do it just to do it.  Anyway, so there is Blue, standing at Green's crib.  And he does this hunh thing.  Green didn't budge.  So Blue did it again, but louder.  Green didn't budge.  So Blue starts trying to shake Green's crib.  Green didn't budge.  At this point, the lead teacher said she told  Blue, "Blue, don't wake your brother up".  Blue looked back at her and smiled.  He then turns back to the crib and shakes it again.  Green still didn't budge.  Teacher again, says "no, don't even think about it."   Blue looks at her again and did his coy smile.  Then, while watching her, he reaches between the bars and grabs Green's pacifier clip.  Green had his pacifier in his mouth.  With the paci clip in hand, teacher says, "Blue, no" as she's walking toward him to move him away and stop him from waking up his brother.  But by the time she got to him, the pacifier had been pulled.  Blue is standing there all proud of himself.  Green's wakes up and starts to cry since he was startled awake.  But then Blue reached right in and put his hand on Green's.  Green's instantly settled and Blue just smiled at him.  They got Green out of his crib, changed him, and set the two loose to play.  They said Blue followed Green around for quite a bit after that.

Last story - yesterday afternoon I had a doc appt.  We got done with the appt, got the boys and were home before I usually even leave from work.  Once home, Husby had to finish some work for work.  I suggested we go swimming and Husby thought that sounded great.  So I got the boys ready while he finished his work.  Once we were all changed and sunscreened up, I went to work loading the dishwasher and put a few things away that have been cluttering our countertops since Husby can't seem to learn where EVERYTHING goes.  While I was loading the dishwasher, Blue and Green's both decided they needed to help.  Husby told them to be careful what they wish for.  Soon enough, they'll get their chore list.

Ok, that's all I got.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!