04/06/10: I think I'm sad

I'm doing a rather ridiculous pre-op diet and I'm gaining weight.  5 pounds, so far.  Must be salt.  I don't know.

I'm doing a rather ridiculous pre-op diet and I'm constipated beyond all get out.  I'm sure that's adding to the 5 pound increase I've seen over the past three days.

I'm doing a rather ridiculous pre-op diet and I don't know when it will end.  I'm sure that's adding to my sadness.

I called my insurance company for a status check yesterday.  I was told "we haven't received any paperwork for this claim.  You still have to submit it if you want a pre-determination".

It can't get much better than that.

I think I'm done calling them.

I know I'm done caring.  I can't care.  Not anymore.  Caring is making me want to cry.  Caring is making me want to give up and take control.  Caring is making me sad.  So I'm going to try not caring for a little while.

In other news - much much better news - my sweet hubby and I had a fantastic weekend with my grandmother, aunt and uncle this weekend.  We got in Friday night and just chilled out chatting.  My aunt and grandmother both noticed a weightloss and wanted to know what's and why's.  So I told them about this crazy diet I'm doing of no carb.  I told them as my weight goes down and my protein intake gets to decrease that I'll add complex carbs very lightly back into my diet.  They thought I was a genius as it's obviously working and they can see it in my face and neck, especially.  We had a good laugh about how I have a football neck and my neck has actually gotten a bit daintier lately.  It always is kind of rough being a girl with a football neck.

Think center lineman type neck.

My one saving grace is that there is length in my neck.  But it's nice to be moving away from the football player thing...

I told them I have this wonderful "support group" I check in with and they wanted to know how to join.  What program am I doing, basically, and what are the fees.  Because I want to keep my secrets, I said y'all were a local thing and that we have "meetings" but we aren't a program.  They thought that was excellent - a not-diet diet with support and no price tag.

Does sound great, eh?

We talked about eating nickel sized bites and chewing 30 times.  I talked about why that's important - aside from the band related importance.  They are both going to try that themselves, to slow down, to eat small bites, to savor each bite and to let the digestive enzymes in their saliva have a chance to work.

All this talking lasted all weekend and elicited many a "we're so proud of you, Lori!".  I love hearing that.  It's a weakness I have - I need/desire/want affirmation.  And they gave it to me.  So I felt particularly uplifted by this visit!

We went out shopping and wandering hill country on Saturday and really enjoyed the beautiful day and all the Texas wildflowers that are in bloom right now.  Sunday we went to church and then my sweet hubby and I had to get on the road for home as it's over a 4 hour drive.  The one downfall of the weekend was the bed we slept on.  It's hard to complain about a bed when this family is so large - more often than not, you don't get a bed when visiting.  But we had this bed that felt like a rock.  We were so sore and achey all weekend and got home and had to take a nap before dinner to try and just feel a little better.

And that was my weekend.

Yesterday was awesome as we booked ourselves two trips.  One in July to Las Vegas for 5 days.  One in August to northern Cali (San Jose area) for 4 days for my birthday which I share with my grandmother.  I love having the same birthday as my grandmother! 

And that's all I know!  Not much of anything...