12/16/10: My How Things Have Changed

I've had just about two weeks with this new fill.  And my oh my how things have changed.  Boy was I screwy in the brain.  For the sake of sanity, I'm going to say, for this blog today, that October and November didn't happen so that I don't have to keep saying pre-pregnancy.  I'm writing this blog based on before, which is April 12 through the end of September, and after, which is December 4 to now.

So...how is this fill different?

1. This fill makes me only want to drink water.  Not juice, not soda, not beer, not wine, not anything but water.  It's slow enough going down that if I don't focus solely on water, I won't get nearly enough.  I might be drinking enough "fluid" but many fluids out there don't have hydrating capabilities...and I am noticing that if I turn to a martini...then my water consumption drops accordingly...and that drop might be just enough to make the day moot.  Before this fill...I could drink all the time as much as I wanted.  Now...it's just slower.  I hear it gurgling through - a welcome sound, I am finding - but it's just slow enough that I can no longer guzzle.
1. What a nice change!
2. I am still having a cup of coffee in the morning but whereas it used to be two...now one is more than enough.
3. I am still drinking a martini on occasion.  Had one last night, in fact.  And I still have them with my favorite olives.  And I can still drink the martini and eat the olives at the same time.  I just am very aware that while drinking that martini...I'm flushing out all that water I know I need to drink more of.

4. I have a rule with myself that I cannot eat lunch until I've consumed an entire bottle of water.  That little trick really helps me get "enough" water in the day...but my enough needs to be more.
2. I used to proclaim that if food was slow going down that a little sip of soda would tickle the food through.  Not anymore!!!  If food is slow going down and I add a trickle of soda to that...yikes.  If food is slow going down now I just have to wait!  And that's fine!!!  That's what I've found over the last two weeks (ish).  Doctors say that if you need a small sip of water during a meal to deal with spice or something tickling your throat or whatever, then a small sip is fine.  I have found that a small sip of water is fine.  A small sip of wine - might be.  A small sip of a martini - might be.  But soda.  Forget it!  Not during a meal.  And, like I've always done, I don't try to drink with meals, period.  But sometimes that little tickle happens...or the spice gets to me.  I am seeing water as my only option.  I love me my water anyway!!!
1. If there is too much food in the pouch, the small sip can hurt.  It's interesting, though, that little sip can give me a clue as to just how much food is waiting to go through...which tells me to forget about eating anymore.  I think I am using a small (small small small) sip of water to give me feedback.
3. So...meals.
1. Breakfast "before" was 6oz of my smoothie.
2. Breakfast "now" is changing.  Today it was 4oz.  Tomorrow it will be 3oz.
1. Now...we pack a lot into this smoothie.  When it's all made and done, we have (per person) 9g of fiber, 27g of protein, 23g of carbs and a wonderful tasting concoction.  That's based on 6oz.  Well...because protein still matters...as we are dabbling with going smaller...we are still going to use the same fiber and protein.  We are really just backing off the carbs and the protein will take a minor hit with backing off on yogurt, but the protein powder will remain the same.  Anywho...
2. 6oz takes me 45 minutes to drink and by the end of 45 minutes...well...the smoothie just isn't that wonderful tasting concoction anymore.  It's all thawed and it's just starting to lose it's luster. 
3. 4oz today...in efforts to be able to drink it before we left the house...was still too much.
4. I weighed what I tossed down the drain and I was dumping almost 2oz.
5. So tomorrow it will be 3oz.  This morning was a weird morning so my normal time for drinking the smoothie was shortened.
6. We also learned today that what we thought we needed to do to get 4oz still gave us too much smoothie.  So a lot of our wonderful concoction went down the drain.
7. My hubby is backing off on the smoothie, too.  Again, because we are essentially getting the same protein...we should still be ok, banded or not, with less.
3. Lunch before was 3oz of chicken salad (or tuna) and 10 Nut-Thin crackers.
4. Lunch now is the same. 
1. Before...it used to take me about 20 minutes to eat that.
2. Now it takes me about 45 minutes to eat just the chicken salad (or tuna) and the crackers are for later.
5. Mid-afternoon snack before was soy nuts or cottage cheese or something along those lines.
6. Mid-afternoon snack now is either the Nut-Thins or some cranberry relish (less than 1oz) I'm working on finishing up or I forget to eat it altogether. 
7. Dinner before was 4oz of a protein and 2oz of veggies and maybe or maybe not 1oz of a carb.
8. Dinner now is 4oz of protein and I'm doing all I can to eat one bite of a veggie just so that I can say I did.
1. Drinking wine or a martini before dinner does seem to help the eating process.  Dinner tends to be my only meal that is truly a solid.
9. Before, I used to want a "little something else" around 8pm.
10. Now, I am starting to forget.  I've noticed (all along) that this was a habit more than a need.  But the habit seems to be breaking.  I don't mind that at all.  On the days following a day when I did have that little something else (some chocolate, some ice cream, or some yogurt and granola) I might only lose a pound - or stay the same.  On the days following a day when I did not have that little something else, I see two pounds drop off.  There's some motivation to break the habit!
4. I might add that I've lost 9 pounds in 12 days and I haven't walked once (aside from my normal stuff which usually accounts for 2 miles a day), at least not for exercise.  I haven't touched a single barbell or dumbbell, I haven't done a situp or a pushup.  I've done nothing but see my food intake drop incredibly!
5. I think the coolest thing that has changed with this fill is that I am literally never hungry.  I can hear my stomach growl...but my vagus nerve still says I am full.  I am never hungry which takes away the interest and the cravings and the longings and the desires.  When I do eat, knowing that my stomach is growling and is saying 'body need food now'...well...I can't possibly eat too much.  If I opt for 3oz of something by the time I've eaten it, 45 minutes has elapsed and stomach then knows it got food. 
1. One of the coolest things I've done ever since getting banded is that when I am full...truly and really full and satisfied, my stomachal area elicits three succinct hiccu-burps.  They are minor, they are short, they are just a little "hufasigh" and they happen in rapid succession and they are gone.  And wha-lah, I am full.  Before - this happened at about 6oz but I could stop at 4oz and feel full.  Now this happens much sooner.
6. Another very cool thing is that I no longer want to dabble with what I'm cooking.  This is good and bad for my hubby.  Since I enjoy the act of cooking so much...well...over the past two weeks I've put together to forget cooking what I want to cook to satisfy my own tastebuds...no...now I just get to cook.  Over the weekend I tried all kinds of things I wouldn't possibly be interested in eating.  Biscuits and gravy, for example.  I'm pretty picky about biscuits and gravy is sooooo very yuck to me.  But it's one of my hubby's faves.  So...knowing I had no interest in eating...but wanting to cook...because it was that time of day...I did.  I cooked that up.  I baked up biscuits (biscuits that I could eat if I wanted) and I did up homemade sausage gravy.  And I never dabbled.  One because I don't like the stuff...it's disgusting to me...but two, because I just had no interest in it.  I usually love sausage and would be pulling out bites of cooked sausage here and there.  Same with lunch that day.  Same with dinner that night. 
7. Something else interesting.  I have been stuck twice now.  Stuck in a way that the food would not go down and instead came up.  Both times...have been at a neighbor's house.  She invites us over for dinner...and somehow...what she makes is just not band friendly.  It's the weirdest thing.  But I am now scared to eat at her house.  In her defense, she asks me what she can make, what I can eat.  So she's trying to be a band friendly cook.  But somehow...over there...it just doesn't work.  It's the oddest thing!!!

This fill is so very different.  Before...I trusted myself to make better choices but left the band wide open so that I could still have options.  Before, when I was pretty good about my weightlifting, I guess I could do that.  I was eating so much less anyway (compared to pre-band), and couple that with weightlifting and even walking...well...I had more freedom.  I must say, with this fill being so very different in regards to how I'm eating, the motivation to start weightlifting is gone.  I lost 9 pounds in 12 days.  Without exercise.  Why would I change that?  :)  Instead, I'm thinking, once this slows down...that's when I'll start the weightlifting.  That should get me through Christmas which will have me in a good place to start one of my weightlifting cycles.  I see starting up with the exercise regime the week after Christmas.  Guests will have gone home, things will settle in, work will be light and so will traffic.  Still so much to do right now in getting ready for Christmas.  All I know is that right now, it's not about trusting myself to make better choices.  I can't eat much of whatever it is I choose.  Better choices are just more pounds the next day on the scale!!!