04/27/10: Is this normal?

I am two weeks out from surgery.  I started with 1cc fill.  I would presume the swelling is less today than it was the day off surgery so I would suspect that 1cc is doing less work today than it was two weeks ago.  So how is it...that I am eating less food as time goes on?

This is insane.  I would think that 4oz would get harder and harder to satisfy me.  Instead, I'm finding that, like yesterday, I can barely even eat 2oz for lunch.  2oz.  Of food.  Altogether.  That's it.  And I was stuffed.  Put the fork down, can't eat another bite, will be in pain if I do, stuffed.  HOW?  Is this normal?

It's insane!

I'll take it.  But is this the band?  Is it hormones?  Is it my brain?  It's insane, whatever it is!

You know what I think one aspect of it might be?  I've really worked on the water for the last two days - last two being Sunday and then Monday.  And with my hydration levels returning to normal...my appetite is decreasing.  But is water really enough to make 2oz filling?  Crazy talk, I tell ya, crazy talk!

Here is what the band looked like about 40 minutes or so after surgery.  I am absolutely going crazy wanting to know what it looks like right now.  I believe that when they do the fills...they will start with an image and see where I am...and then fill accordingly to get me back to this.  You can see from this image that my surgeon was telling no lies when he said all he could give me was 1cc.  I could not imagine have 3cc's to start with if this is what I looked like, then, with 1cc.  I love this image.  I was not sure I cared to post this cause I did not think it really mattered.  But moreso than the images I posted imediately after surgery with the actual band around my actual stomach - this image really is stuck in my mind.  Anyway.  I believe that's how fills will work because that's what my nurse practitioner told me.  But who knows; I'll find out in a couple weeks.  I hope I can get copies of the before and after photos at the time of the fill - how awesome would that be for a scrapbook?

I'm a nut.  You're surprised?  We know this.  It isn't likely to change or even get better. 

Dinner proved to be just as interesting as lunch.  I ate about 4oz's total.  I also have been having a little cup of Horizon Organic Vanilla cream yogurt late in the evening with a bit of granola sprinkled in.  About 2oz of yogurt and 1oz of granola.  I actually had to make myself eat this because I was worried about the calorie count...but even more importantly, the protein count.  Because of my choices for the day and the amounts I was eating, I only got 44g of protein.  Not bad...but not great.  Not bad if you are going by the standard - get 60g a day.  Not good if you are doing what I am doing - calculating personal needs based on weight.  Currently - I need 85g.  So about half...not great at all. 

But surprisingly, even with only ~900 calories for the day - my energy was crazy high.  My husband could not get me to sit down!  It was kind of bizarre.  It was refreshing!!  It felt like me.  Up until around about the last year, or so, last year being last year - 2009 (as you know), I always had crazy high energy.  Run circles around my friends type energy.  The only place I typically ran into similar energy levels was with my family.  My almost 85 year old grandmother runs circles around a lot of 40 year olds.  I miss my energy.  I am loving that it's coming back already.  I know this isn't probably the time when it will set in and last - I know I'm still healing.  But to have a glimpse of it is just nice.  And I know that when I lose more weight, the energy will return for good.  And that will be nice!!!

So, one would expect, after eating only ~900 calories and running in circles last night that the scale might respond.  It did.  Down 2.5 from yesterday.  I think a downhill slide is on.  Don't know how long it will last - but I think it's on.  I do know that I'm in that part of my cycle where I don't eat much.  And I think coupling that time of my cycle with the band with how I'm feeling...it's just working out to a good place.  I know the water intake is helping.  I know the body functions are just about normal.  Not quite ready to declare it...but I know it's improving ten-fold.  I know that healing is being done and things are getting going.  And it all just feels good!  And I will take it for however long it lasts.  And I will hope and pray that I am cleared for weightlifting when I have my appt on May 12th!

Have a great day, y'all!

04/26/10: Odd sorts!!!

Woohoo!

NSV's!  My firsts!  And one is scale related but it's a so-not scale victory!  It's odd!

First.  A shirt I got from Kinzie about a month ago...I'm wearing it right now.  It's the pink one.  It was snug around the hips when I posted the photo of me in it.  IT'S SO NOT NOW!!!!  Woohoo!!!!!

Second.  And this one happened first so I shoulda said it first but I'm a nut like that.  I got on the scale yesterday.  I think I have a weird take on the scale.  And since you know me and all - I can't just get right to the point, I gotta give the background and the buildup before I tell you the good news.

I have a spreadsheet - I shared it previously and will again when it has more to tell.  In my spreadsheet I am tracking my weight, chest, waist, hips, thighs, calves, biceps and forearms.  I have my little columns with my little mathematical cells telling me how many inches lost altogether and then in this week, as well as weight lost altogether.  And there are conditional formatting rules applied so that when certain magic numbers are reach, the cell highlights with my fave color.  In case I forget, ya know.  :)

So the scale.  I weigh myself every day.  And I do so for comedy.  It's hilarious to me, really.  I can not eat anything at all for an entire day and I'll gain 2 pounds.  Next day, I'll eat an entire cow and I'll lose 6 pounds.  What do you do with news like that besides laugh?  So I laugh!  It does tell me, in general, that on my being good days, I was good and on my being bad days, I was bad.  It does give me feedback that I have learned to decipher through the comedy.  I honestly don't get down on myself when the scale goes up a pound or two because I have learned through the years with scales some of the why's and I can generally pinpoint what I did or did not do - like TOM issues vs. bad eating days.

Anywho.  It's comedy.  I weigh everyday.  I love a good morning laugh!  And it appears I am developing a weigh-in day - which appears to be Sundays.  And that is developing because Sundays are the days that I take my measurements.  Every week.  Week in week out.  Through the insurance requirements when not much was happening it was more of a monthly thing but since starting the pre-op diet and forward to now, it's been a weekly thing.

So now the measurements are getting interesting, too.  Like put a smile on my face kind of interesting!

And so here's the NSV related to a scale...

I got on the scale on Sunday...first thing in the morning...for my daily comedy routine...and it was down 1 pound for the week but up two since the previous Sunday.  So I will record it as up two.  I gained two pounds for the week.  Not bad considering I am eating normally and all that...I expected a more than 2 pound gain, really.

And then I take all my measurements.  In the week when I gained two pounds - I lost four inches!!!!

And even more significantly, while I lost a half inch around the waist - significance there - the previous Sunday, I was up a half inch, presumed sweeling, from the Sunday before.  So I lost what I consider the half inche from swelling - not to say the swelling is gone...

But other than that, the inches came off the hips, thighs and biceps!  Areas not related to surgery!  Real loss type areas.

In other news...we worked outside almost all weekend.  We cleaned the teak furniture and got it all re-oiled.  It looks absolutely gorgeous when it's clean and freshly oiled!  I did very little moving and predominantly sat on my duff just rubbing on the oil.  By very little moving, I mean when I was working on a chair, I would move it around to get to the bottom and the sides.  But I was sliding it on grass...

When we were done Saturday night, we jumped in the pool, quickly, as it's still chilly at 80 degrees.  Who am I? that I'm calling 80 degree water chilly.  I'm from California, where at the height of summer in late August pool water is barely 80!  Now, it's APRIL and the water is 80 on it's way up to 92 friggin degrees and I'm calling 80 chilly!  What happened to me?

But not being able to tolerate 80 for very long, and knowing that, we started the hot tub heating and crawled into that when it got to 92.  Vegged and felt great for awhile.  Then grilled shrimps and potatoes and pearl onions and cooked some jalapeno poppers in the oven.  Our poppers - best you'll ever have.  Got the recipe from a neighbor.  Get a jalapeno, cut the top off, slice the pepper in half.  We clean the bejesus out of them - all seeds, all membrane - so they are not even remotely spicy.  The filling is one thing of cream cheese, 1 thing of Jimmy Dean Maple sausage and one small can of mild green chilis.  Mix that all together and stuff the jalapeno.  Then, if that's not enough, wrap in a half a slice of bacon and stick a toothpick in.  Cook in the oven at 375 for about 35-40 minutes - until bacon is cooked to your liking, basically.

We had a friend over helping us with all the work we did on the furniture.  He asked for these - and because of his work, we couldn't say no.  They are so good and such a treat...but they are quite a bit of work to make because of the cleaning involved.  If you make these - WEAR GLOVES!!!  We wear two on each hand of a disposable nitrile glove.

After dinner was cooked, eaten and cleaned, we sat down on the couch and watched "The Informant".  Good movie.  Funny.  Whacky.  Twisted!

Sunday, we did the second coat of teak oil on the furniture.  Looks soooo good!  Got the yard cleaned up and everything put back in it's rightful place.  I went to a support group meeting of people in my area that have found each other through LBT.  It was a great meeting that lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated.  Four really amazing women with great stories and great success!  1 lady - 1 year and 1 month out - has lost 130 pounds and is 13 pounds from goal weight.  Is working right now for insurance approval for a tummy tuck.  2 ladies - 9 months out - 1 has lost 94 pounds, 1 has lost 62 pounds.  Had surgery within two days of each other with the same surgeon and have been friends through this entire process.  And finally, 1 lady - 6 months out - has lost 65 pounds.  Great women, great stories - and I learned a lot from them yesterday!  The hostess made it fun and she cooked two of her favorite high protein meals - meatballs (she adds extra protein to these) and a feta and artichoke crustless quiche; unfortunately, I didn't try either of these as I was not hungry at all.  She also bought a sampling of protein bars so that we could try a bite and see what we liked before we waisted money on bars we might not like; in this case, I tried one, but I just don't see myself getting into protein bars for a variety of reasons.  We also tried a protein smoothie which I didn't care for, two people were "eh" about it, and one person liked.  The fifth didn't try it.  It was a good meeting and I'm happy to know these ladies!  And the house where we met - a whopping 2.4 miles from me!  Who can say no to that?

Then I ran home and we went out to dinner with our friend/neighbor and her daughter.  Had a fantabulous dinner and time and it was nice to catch up.  We always have shared a Sunday meal with this friend/neighbor and with all the pre-op and then even post-op stuff, we haven't had dinner together for months.  It will be nice to get this going again!  In the past, I cooked Sunday dinner and then she would reciprocate with a Thurs dinner.  I want evenings at home during the week so that workouts/swims can happen so I don't know that we'll go back to Thurs dinners...but it would be nice to get Sunday going again and maybe we can alternate or something.

And that was my weekend.  A fantabulous weekend in which only 2 Tylenol were taken (Sat evening after all that work and heat).

And the last thing I'll say - I know my goal for this week is to get water water water.  I have not been getting nearly enough water since surgery and I suspect it's actually the core reason for some of how I'm still feeling.  I am definitely getting back to normal - 1-2 BM's every day since Thurs...so things are moving again - woohoo.  But I know that I need water water water.  So we'll see how this week goes!

Have a great week, y'all!

04/08/10: Wow

I have to laugh.  Somehow I've conveyed patience.  It makes me laugh.  It makes my husband laugh, too.  We both wish that I had more patience.  I don't have much.  I got that from my mom.  Ironically, I always thought she was the most patient person on the planet, I mean, she put up with me and kept a smile on her face doing so.  But she knew she had none and I realized later in our time together that she was right.  :)  At the same time I realized that, I realized I had none either, and I was ok with that.  By the by, she was fine with being impatient herself.

Calling the insurance co every other day is not patience.  Calling to complain to someone who is essentially a beauracrat, is not patience (even though said "essentially a beauracrat" is employed by a corporation, not the government, still identical in theory when they have to give "standard answers" that are scripted by "those in charge").

I am not patient.  I pulled off the calm phone call on Tuesday because I know that anger won't get me an answer - and that if it does garner an answer, that answer would probably be negative.  Anger doesn't inspire people to give you what you want.  I learned that when my mom was dieing.  I was not angry at anyone, I was just angry.  And sometimes that came out in how I treated people.  Especially when it was over the phone and I was "safe".  At the end of the day, that anger did not save my mom nor did it make me feel any better.  I had about six weeks that this lasted after the cancer came back a third time but had not yet been diagnosed as terminal.  Somehow, once the terminal diagnosis was given, I knew anger was not going to help me enjoy the last bit of time with mom and I let it go.

I do still get angry, we all do, it's a human emotion that is very real and has very real uses and purposes.  Getting angry at this situation is not going to make it better.

However, I am not patient.  If I were, I would be ok, not be blogging about it endlessly, would not be talking about it endlessly to my sweet hubby or to any of my friends who I feel I can talk to - or who ask.  If I were patient, I would not be consumed by this.  My life would be going on, pleasantly, nicely, easily and when I got my approval, I would switch gears then.  If I were patient, I would not have started the pre-op diet over three weeks ago in hopes that I can get on the schedule "that much faster".

But thank you all for thinking I am patient.  What that means to me is that while I am consumed and bothered and irritated by all this, somehow I have not lost sight of myself.  And that's good. 

So the pre-op diet.  I am following it well now.  I took the morning smoothie out of the picture because it was yuck and because it was competing with coffee and water drinking - both of which I much prefer to a "yuck" smoothie.  I have learned that I do not like berrie smoothies.  So I do not want berrie smoothies.  Once I took that smoothie out of my diet, I started getting more than enough water.

Right now, I should be getting ~120 oz of water a day.  I realized yesterday that right now, I am averaging ~150 oz of fluid intake.  ~110 oz is nothing but plain ol' good yummy water.  Another 24 oz is coffee.  You could say coffee is a diuretic and bad bad bad but I am of the camp that believes that you do get some fluid from coffee.  And finally, the remainder is in the form of chicken broth that I am putting my protein powder in.

It was quite a shock to realize I get enough water.  I don't think I was before I quit the smoothies.

I normally love my smoothies for the taste and for what it does for my colon.  But the fruit that I am getting is particularly low in fiber and with the taste being "yuck", well, it just didn't seem worth it to get those "extra" calories.  However, now that I cut that out, my calorie intake is hovering between 500-800 a day.

Not nearly enough.  Not even remotely nearly enough.  So the scale is responding.  How do you gain weight on 500 calories a day?  Ask Lori, she'll tell you how!

Dangit.

Oh well.

I do know that when my surgeon sees my food log he's going to think I'm lieing because I should be down down down given this intake.  But I'm not.  I haven't lost a pound now in over a week and a half.  That SUCKS!

In other news...

I have learned, in this process, that I was stupid.  :)  Still am, it's an inherent flaw in my person.  I can usually deal with it.  But my stupidity might have adversely affected some people and I am sorry for being stupid.  I have left some know-it-all comments all over the place on various people's blogs and how can I be a know-it-all?  I'm not even banded yet!  I am not a part of the ranks yet and here I was thinking I had great ideas that might help.  They didn't help, I now see, in fact, they just made me look stupid.

This is a learning process for all.  And I think that in thinking that I had good ideas, I was selling myself short on some of what I need to learn.  I might have some ideas.  But, if I haven't had a chance to test them out for myself, why in the world would I think suggesting it to someone else is good?

I think I've been reading banded people for so long that it's become like I'm living banded vicariously through others.  But it doesn't work.  I think I know how I will approach this because of what I've read and what I've learned thus far - but I haven't been able to test it out on myself.  Most of what I think is based on what I've read in other blogs.  But some of it is, well, if you take this bit from this blog and this bit from this blog and mix this with what I like, then this should work.  Now here, see if this works for you.  But I can't impose that on anyone.  I need to see it for myself and if it works, I can blog it and then YOU can decide if YOU like it.  Or, if it doesn't work, I can blog that and then people may decide for themselves they want to try and see if it works for them.

But here I am, this newbie, almost preaching sometimes, what 1) others already know or 2) what no one is interested in save me.  And I may or may not be interested myself after I test it on myself.

So all this to say, I'm sorry.  I'm not going to pretend like I'm not a know-it-all.  I do tend to be one of those.  And I don't do that to show you what I know and what you don't.  I do it because I know a little bit about a lot. I am no expert in anything.  But I love to research and learn and explore and take things apart.  And, in the process, what I learn, I love to share.  But I have realized that I think I have alienated some people that were/are a great support system.  I think my know-it-all'ness just manifested itself in a way and a place that it truly just bit me in the arse.

I suspect that some people that need to see this won't ever and that makes me sad, as well.

I think this no-approval process is really making me think outside of my own box of safety.  And that, to me, is a very welcome notion.  Like I said, I love to learn!!

03/01/10: Thoughts...random and otherwise

We had a whirlwind weekend in which we drove up to Austin Saturday morning and back to Houston Sunday morning.  It's about a 3.5 hour drive to where we were headed and I wouldn't recommend such crazy turn-arounds.  But it is what it is and at least we were able to see the IL's and spend some time with them.

It was a crazy turn-around because I had a Dr. appt Friday afternoon.  That led to us being back on "our side of town" at rush hour.  Our side of town adds another hour from work to that drive to Austin.  Funnily enough, as we drove to "our side of town" from work to the Dr. appt, from the Dr. appt to the grocery store, and then from the grocery store to home...the drivers were insanely crazy.  I remarked to my sweet hubby just before arriving at home..."I'm glad we aren't on the road tonight" after just one more person tried to back into us. 

Anywho, that Dr. appt translated into leaving Sat morning.  And we did leave Sat morning.  And we had a fantastic visit.  And then we had to leave them earlier than we would usually do on Sun morning.

Why? 

I had someone contact me on LBT saying that some people that live in my area would be getting together for coffee at a Starbucks that is about 5 miles from my house.  I love the blog world for all the support that is out here and I think having some real life support would be great, too!  It was/is a chance for me to turn the cyber world into real life.  So I jumped.  Hence the quick turn-around.

Unfortunately, I did not get to stay very long.  I was only there for about 40 minutes but it was enough to get introduced, exchange contact information and chat and learn a little, too.  It was fantastic!  I met 3 women who are all banded.  One is at a year out and the other two were both banded 7 months ago.  They are all successful and have a lot to teach and share.  It truly was great to meet them!

Anyway...it was a great meeting and I'm glad to know people outside of the cyber world.  I look forward to getting to know them better and meeting up with them more in the future!

I had two very interesting things happen this weekend.

1) I drank beer.  I drank multiple beers.  They were good and they were the perfect accompaniment to the edge-of-the-seat hockey game yesterday.  Today...I am up 3 pounds from yesterday and I am bloated beyond all get out.  It seems to me these are the first beers I've had in months...oddly, without trying to, I just up and switched to solidly drinking wine, when I drank - which is maybe 2-3 times a week.  I love beer...and I love all kinds of different beers...but I don't love beer that much anymore.  Especially not if it's going to make me become bloated and gain 3 pounds.  Interesting.

2) I had two NSV's.  The scale isn't necessarily moving...but...all weekend...whenever my sweet wonderful hubby saw any glimpses of me...he'd attack.  I noticed on Thurs...scale not moving...but things are lining up better with the body.  What does that mean, you ask?  Good question.  My back roll is GONE!  I had one that was sitting right where the butt-shelf starts.  And it's gone.  And when I look even more...the shelf is...kind of...blending better, I guess is how I'd put that.  Well.  I was jumping up and down with glee when my sweet wonderful hubby walked in the bathroom.  And he wanted to know why the smile - so I pointed it out.  He just about jumped out of his skin with glee - and proceeded to attack.  :)  Saturday night...I was crawling into bed with just my t-shirt, as is normal.  And he saw a glimpse of I don't know what - and attacked. Sunday morning - attack.  Friday night there was an attack, too.  Sunday there were multiple conversations about said attacks.  It's refreshing.  He never lost interest in me...never wanted to not attack me...but the...desire was just not as strong.  It's refreshing.  He told me yesterday that I just look better.  Some plumpness is disappearing.  And then two hours later, standing in my kitchen with a friend/colleague, she says "you look really good".  She'd told another friend/colleague to tell me this a week ago (and he didn't) and so was surprised that I was surprised.  But I told her it was just 15 pounds at this point.  And she said - the plumpness is just disappearing.

I haven't started my weightlifting.  I haven't started my swimming.  But in the past few weeks I have been working on water water water and protein protein protein.  The protein, for the past 2-3 weeks has been higher than the carbs.  And apparently, now that the muscles aren't starving the metabolism is reacting.  Interesting!

So in other news, it's Monday.  It's a new week.  This week is an exciting week for me.  See if you can guess the correct answer for why.

1) I get to get a massage on Tues
2) That massage is followed by our first trip to the Houston Rodeo.  (Houston's Rodeo is the largest in the world.)
3) I am letting myself try out the pre-op diet so I can see what to expect.
4) I have my final weigh-in on Thurs morning at 8:30am.

Let me know what you think.  :)

My pre-op diet is boring.  Who's isn't?  I get to drink protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and I get a 6-8 oz portion of lean protein for dinner with fresh veggies if I like.  I can opt to skip dinner and just do another protein shake, too.  I can add fruit to my protein shakes but I cannot have bananas.  I can eat whatever veggies I want but I cannot have carrots or potatoes.  So there you have it.  Boring.  I think I want to go get a jug of the chocolate protein powder I am using.  I have found that I don't dislike the protein powder I have.  I prefer it with the fruit but it's ok on it's own.  I have a creamy vanilla option or unflavored.  Like I said...I will probably add a chocolate jug, too.  I got myself the Isopure zero carb whey protein.  2 scoops (if you want that much) in 12 oz of water has 52g of protein.  That's A LOT!  I'm fine with one scoop in 6 oz of water!  This morning I added my normal fruit save bananas.  Normal fruit is strawberries, mango, pineapple.  I also added my Greek yogurt.  I actually think I won't add the Greek yogurt tomorrow and will see how that is.

Speaking of yogurt.  In all my world travels I have found that Icelandic yogurt is the best.  Icelandic yogurt is just like Nordic yogurt.  It's thicker, creamier, and tastier.  Even more "er" than the Greek yogurt.  I've not seen it at all here in the States...but my MIL found some in Austin.  She didn't know what it was, just knew she wanted to try it and thinks it's the best.  I'm so jealous!  Whole Foods bought some land from my husband's employer and they are literally building a grocery store in his parking lot.  That will make it very easy for us to get to Whole Foods and I'm thinking they might have it there.  I hope so!

I was talking to my friend/colleague yesterday and somehow yogurt came up.  She makes her own and is going to give me a starter.  I'll be curious to see how that turns out!

And that's all I know!

Finally...I did all kinds of craftwork for my Christmas presents last year and I didn't manage to take pictures of anything.  I regretted that immediately after getting them all wrapped and starting to give them away.  This weekend, at the MIL's house, I managed to take pictures of what I gave her.  So here is a glimpse of what I did.  (the craftwork consisted of glass etching and knitting.  this is just one of the many things I etched - but was the most etching I did.)

I hope everyone has a fantastic week.  I sure plan to!

02/23/10: Water

So I'm here to talk about water today.  I drink water.  I drink lots of water.  I love water.  Sometimes I feel the need for flavor and I drink SF Kool-Aid in some cases and in other cases, I just add lemon.  But, primarily, I drink water.  Iced tea is good sometimes, too.  But water is what you will find beside me most of the time.

I read on Amy W.'s blog about this cool water bottle she found at Target.  I had read just before that of her using a regular ol' throw away bottle and ticking it off with a marker as she refilled it.  She tried to achieve six ticks a day on a 20 oz bottle.  And then she found this bottle at Target.  On the rim of the cap there is a bezel that rotates to how many bottles you've had a day.  It has 6 ticks and the bottle holds 26 oz.  I loved the idea.  So I mentioned it to my sweet hubby this weekend and he went and got a 2-pack.  He is using one himself.  (Sorry for the pic clarity, these pics were taken with my phone which somehow is super sensitive to the natural quiver of my hand.)

So, based on my current weight, I should be striving for 127 oz's of water a day.  That means I should be filling/refilling the thing a total of 5 times.

Yeah.  Can't do it!  I drank 3 yesterday.  I was peeing water by 6pm last night.  And I knew, just knew, that if I kept going and drank anymore I would not sleep through the night.  I was not about to give up the beauty rest (it doesn't work, but I'm hopeful even after all these years that it might start) to pee all night long!

So I drank the 3 and said...it's ok.  If I was still peeing out anything that even remotely looked yellow I might have continued.  But it was clear as clear could be.  I still sipped a bit through the rest of the evening, but I gave up trying to drink 2 more refills.  And I'm glad I did.  From 6-9 I peed five more times.  And the last time...it was still clear as clear could be.

That was 78 oz's I drank.  I will be happy when 78 oz's (or less) is proper for me!