03/31/10: I don't know what I'd do without this blog

And it's not even the blog, really.  It's all y'all that read it and it's all y'all that take the time to comment.  You guys are a God send!!!

I was thinking, as I went for my morning cup of joe a few minutes ago, that if I didn't have this blog and my peeps to keep me sane and to root me on, I really think I would have given up long ago.  I've made it this far because of all y'all that are reading this right this very second.

My wonderful husband is sooo very in my corner and that is beyond helpful.

I thought I'd have some friends that were so very in my corner, too, and turns out they are less than interested and/or incredibly judgemental about the whole thing.  Oopsie...guess I shouldn't have told them.

But this blog.  This blog is my little corner that I can turn to to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not the first (and I won't be the last) to feel what I'm feeling and to think what I'm thinking.  I can get support here and I can get a refreshing slap in the face here and for all of that I am so incredibly thankful.

It's interesting how I got turned on to the blogs.  It was Catherine55, actually.  I had started a thread on LBT about being a newby and she told me to go check out the blogs.  How wise that was!  Those threads on LBT are trainwrecks, by and large, and I could have easily been derailed if I'd stayed there.  So I went to the blogs.  And I clicked on the first one I could find - and it was Band_Groupie's blog.  I proceeded to read her blog from start to finish and learned soooo much and laughed even harder.  When BG came over here, and I followed and started to explore, it was a no-brainer for me to make the move, too.  Such support and camaraderie here.  It is what I think LBT wants to be.  Positivity is generally prolific here!

I have no idea what is going to happen with me and this band.  I know that if surgery can't happen by April 9th, it's not going to happen in April or May.  And that is depressing to me.  And not having carbs to release serotonin, depressing is depressing right now.  Everything is depressing right now. 

I know, now, that if I don't get an answer this week, I won't be able to get on the schedule next week.  So, Friday is my cutoff for getting an answer from Cigna and being able to get on next week's schedule.  If I don't have an answer on Friday, I am going back to normal, healthy, balanced eating.

I am so on the verge of tears.  To have come all this way and be staring so closely at a possible derailment is just depressing.  And like I said, depressing is depressing.

I miss serotonin.

I hope y'all have a good day.

And this one is for the insurance Gods.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me get an answer this week.  PLEASE!!!!

And the last thought I'll leave you with...after being good for so long with this "diet", I have stopped losing weight.  I was exactly the same today as I was yesterday morning.

Oh My...For ME?

Here are the details.

Thank you thank you thank you to "It's just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua".  If you aren't following her already - do it!  She's hilarious.  You never know what she's going to say next - but whatever it is, you'll be laughing your arse off!  And she's super smart, too.  She's full of insight and intelligience that is contagious!

This is THE FABULOUS SUGAR DOLL AWARD. This award is to be given to 5 bloggers who make your life sweeter! Here are the rules for this Blog Award.

1. Thank the Person who gave you this award. (Thanks again Drazil - see above)

2. Give to 5 bloggers and write why they have made your life a lil sweeter.  Part of my goal here is to not give this to people I know have already received this.  Although just because I didn't see their names elsewhere doesn't mean they haven't already been commended.  These five (and many others) leave me wonderful, personal, touching comments.  They get me thinking and they have insightful, beautiful blogs.These five (and many others) are bloggers I try to emulate!

#1 - Athena's Melting - she is just beautiful with a beautiful soul and a beautiful outlook on the world.  Hers is a blog I can't wait to read - and when she comments on my stuff I feel like I've hit gold!

#2 - Camille - just about ready to have surgery - she is smart, articulate, interesting and has an enlightening blog.  I hope to follow in her footsteps very soon!

#3 - Jen From Oregon - we have a lot in common.  She has a great blog and her west coast life and horses make me jealous!

#4 - Band_Groupie - I can't not bring up BG!  She is the reason I got into blogging and she is the most amazing teacher!  She has quite a way with words and she will put it all out there to try and help others.  Her comments always make my day!

#5 - Gen - another amazing blog who is fun to read and her life, sometimes, seems like it's out of a fairy tale - from Costa Rica to Mexico to skiing weekends to a backyard ice rink.  Like the others above, comments from her are just super touching!

I'd give this right back to Drazil, too.  She leaves amazing notes on my blogs and I think we think a lot alike in many regards.  Nice to know I'm not entirely bonkers - I mean, there's someone else out there thinking like me...so it must be alright!
*Yup I'm gonna act like Drazil here - breaking the rules.  Skip ahead if this is "against your principles"*

#6 - all my followers.  Especially all y'all that ever comment!  I love comments.  But really...even if you don't comment - seeing your cheery mugs sitting there on the side...tells me I gotta behave.  So to everyone who ever takes the time to "read me" - THANK YOU!

3. Write why you where given this award. Um here's what Drazil said: "one of my first followers and no matter what is going on in her life she always finds time to pay attention to mine....she's super sweet and she has a pool I'm super jealous of...."  (I must say, if I can ever get in the danged pool I will be posting pics of it so you can drool over it.  Not in it, though, thanks, I like to keep it clean.  But wouldn't you know it - because of how I turned it off last night...the heater didn't run at all today...so now it's even colder than yesterday!  Tomorrow, for sure, though!  That heater is gonna run all night if it has to!!!)

4. Tell the other bloggers u gave them this award.

The Sunshine Award

The sunshine award "is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world."

Once you receive one, then you:

1. Post the logo on your blog.

2. Pass the award on to 12 fellow bloggers.

3. Link the nominees

4. Let nominees know they have won this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and link to the person you received this award from.

I have picked these 12 either because they have a blog that is incredibly inspiring and informative to me, or because they reach out to me through comments letting me know I'm not alone.

I am passing on the sunshine award to the following people, in no particular order:

Stardustic at My Life in Lap-Band-Land 

Kristen at Kristen's Lapband Journey 

Justine at Adventures in Band Land 

Tessierose at Band me Baby! 

Athena's Melting at Athena's Melting 

Tanya at Bye Bye Biscuits 

MandaPanda at Candyland to Bandland 

Gen at i heart the band 

Drazil at It's just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua 

Camille at living large in C.C. 

Michelle at The life of my LapBand Diva... 

Bonnie at Wishing and Hoping and Praying for a Band

Beautiful Blogger Awards

Beautiful Blogger Awards

Tessie Rose, author of, Band me Baby!, nominated me for an award, thank-you Tessie Rose! She is in a similar situation to my own, waiting for insurance games to end.  Thank you, Tessie Rose!

Here are the instructions:

• Thank the person who nominated you for this award

• Copy the award and post it in your blog

• Link to the blog of the person who nominated you

• Tell seven interesting things about yourself

• Nominate seven bloggers

• Post links to the blogs of your nominees

Seven things about me

1)  My name is Loranne but I go by "Lori".  I love my first name.  My mom claimed that she made it up.  She loved "Lori", she loved "Anne" but she didn't love "LoriAnne" so she took the "I" out.  People always pronounce it "Lorainne" which has resulted in me seriously despising that name, as it's not mine.  I don't hate people named Loraine (alternative spelling on purpose), I just hate the name.  :)  My name is pronounced Lor-Anne.  I'm not sure how I ended up being stuck with the nickname but in efforts to switch, it's never lasted...so Lori I am.

2)  My parents died young.  My mom was 55 - I was 28.  My dad was 61 - I was 31.  My step-dad was 68 - I was 32.  I am an only child.  I have aunts and uncles and a grandmother but I no longer have my own immediate family and I think that's very sad.  I met my husband at a great time, scared as I was, because I think without him, I would have sunk into a pretty severe depression.  He is my rock!

3)  I love to learn.  All through college I averaged 21 credit hours a semester.  My "lightest" load was 19 hours and my heaviest load was one semester of nothing but science...and I was taking 24 hours.  When I was done with my degrees, undergrad only, I had 210 credit hours.  (You usually only need ~140 to graduate.)  I ended up with two BS/BA degrees and 6 minors.  BS = Oceanography; BA = Geology; minors in Math, Chemistry, Sociology, Psychology, English, Physics.

4)  I hated science and math in jr. high and high school.  I never went to school in those years, either.  Passed math classes by showing up only on the test days.  My mom didn't have any clue about how much I "ditched" but I had my tricks to make sure she didn't find out.  When I told her later of my delinquencies, she thought it was a sad mark on our education system that I still passed everything.  I do, too.  I had to "grow up" and so went off to the Navy to do so.  My parents knew they didn't have to worry about me when I did that.  I was fixing myself...which meant I'd figured out I was going wrong.

5)  Boot camp was a joke!  Yeah...you get to do push-ups and sit-ups and all sorts of calisthenics until you are blue in the face.  Yeah, you get to run and swim miles a day...and then march for hours afterwards.  And, in the Navy, we sat through 4-5 hours a day of classes learning about the Navy, too.  Our CC's (Company Commanders) would get in our faces yelling louder than you've ever heard but you knew they wanted to laugh, too.  Boot camp, to me, was learning how not to laugh no matter how funny it was.  That's self-control.  At the end, when we were "off comp" and our CC's could be our friends, it was incredibly cool to just hang out with them.

6) I was in the first female company to go through boot camp in Great Lakes, IL.  That simulaneously made it harder and easier.  Prior to 1994, women went to Florida.  Starting in the summer of 1994, women went to Great Lakes.  Half of the male CC's were scared of us and would cross the street instead of "dropping us" if we were not looking perfect.  Half of the female CC's were not scared of us, and, in fact, wanted to prove how capable we were.  If we were looking perfect...they'd "drop" us anyway.  I still smile when I think about the double-standards.

7)  I love to travel and by the age of 29, I'd been to 54 different countries.  My parents started me as a travel bug.  They'd take 4-6 weeks off every summer and we'd pile in the car and drive.  I've been to all but 5 of the US states - and the missing ones are all in the northeast.  Around about the time I was 9, we started branching into Canada.  I've been all over Canada.  My grandmother had a house in Mexico and we went down there once a month until I was about 13, when she sold it.  I went to Europe (France and England) for the first time when I was 15 - without my parents.  At 16, I took my mom along with me on my second trip (Germany, Switzerland and Austria).  In the Navy, I got myself to Singapore, Hong Kong (was there one month after it reverted to China), Australia, Guam, and many places in the middle east.  After the Navy, I've been back to all but Guam...I've completely circumnavigated Australia, visited New Zealand, Iceland (one of my faves), Japan, Taiwan, Phillipines, Spain, Italy, Turkey Jordan, Oman, Egypt...I could go on.  I love to travel and a life goal is to visit and explore every country.  My sweet hubby fully endorses this goal and has signed on for the fun, himself.

So seven blogs that have really spoken to me...and please know, I'm still trying to catch up on all those that I follow...so if you ask me this in a week, it might change again.  This is hard to do, of course, but these have influenced me deeply and are great reference points, as well!

1) Band_Groupie - hers was the first blog I read over on LBT.  Her directness, research and perspective on life are profound to me.  She can take the craziest of topics that would get anyone sad and make it humorous, or she can take the driest material and make it interesting.  She even got me over here to blogger which has exposed me to many more wonderful bloggers.  Even my hubby appreciates BG, as she always knows exactly what to say to perk up my day (and therefore his, too)!

2) Bonnie - she, like me, is in the intial stages, still.  Her blog is light and fluffy, if you will.  It's just a fun blog to read!

3)  Linda - she calls it like it is and has a unique perspective that is refreshing. 

4)  Tessie Rose - another fun blog to read.  She has a vivacious personality and seems to always be upbeat.  I'd be frustrated in her shoes, and my blog would show it - but she is up and thinking positively while waiting out the insurance games.

5)  Amy W. - another fun blog to read, another blogger who calls it like it is, another blogger that is direct and full of amazingly positive perspective.  She also asks great questions and, to me, gets people thinking outside of the box.  All the while she is particularly perky and bouncy!  Fun fun!  And she makes me want to move to Florida and go play on the white sand beaches ALL THE TIME!

6) Jordan - this blogger happens to be a man so the change in perspective is quite refreshing!  That and the humor make it a pleasure to read!

7) MandaPanda - she is another that is also in the initial stages, jumping through the hoops to get insurance approval.  Her DH is also doing this with her and while this blog isn't about him, it's her blog, there is that added aspect that gets touched on.  Another blog I always look forward to reading!

I will say, most all of these bloggers have already been nominated and I think a few of them don't even follow me, so may never know I put their names out there.  But these blogs are some of my faves to read...although I'm still reading...so like I said...check back in a week and I may have more.  :)  Happy Reading!

Finally, I'd like to end with a big heartfelt thank you to Tessie Rose for nominating me.  It really made me feel good and I was starting to be sad that no one liked my blog "enough" - pathetic, but true. I, like Tessie Rose, can't wait to be banded and join the ranks. This is such an amazing community and I'm grateful to Band_Groupie that she moved over here...exposing me to this wonderful world!

02/01/10: Good Weekends and Great Days

I had an interesting weekend of doing nothing.  This interesting weekend of doing nothing was rather uplifting.  But not because I did nothing.  In fact, my nothing entailed two things.  1) updating my work in progress photos.  2) mostly doing our taxes.  I say mostly because I'm still waiting on my W2 to arrive and so have just used numbers from my last pay stub.  But other than finishing my income for the year, the taxes are done and the outcome is tolerable.

Back to the updating the photos...

I took progress photos almost two weeks ago.  And then I seemed to be refusing to look at them.  I say that because after my hubby took the photos, the battery had to be charged.  Every night I'd walk by that charger and think "I've got to get those photos downloaded" and every night I'd just keep walking.  This weekend I finally made myself do it.  This weekend I was surprised.

I downloaded the photos still not wanting to see.  I was absolutely sure that there would be no change - and worse, I might just be worse off.  Positive that I was just going to get depressed, I made myself face up anyway.

Well...the photos were so not the same zoom levels.  And so it was rather meaningless.  So my sweet hubby graciously got off the couch to take them again.  This time I downloaded them before we called it good to make sure the photos were really going to be a comparison.  This is where my job title gets in my way as I wanted to see like images...so that what's different will be the only difference - not the photo, not the clothes...just the diff.

We took them twice, actually.  But after the first retake and downloading them, I had one image that aligned well.  And then we saw it.  My husband before me,  in fact.  My butt is smaller and gravity seems to be reversing.  My belly is smaller and gravity seems to be reversing.  My shirt fit better.  I didn't notice that when I put it on, in fact, I still thought it fit exactly the same.

It's a very subtle difference.  Very very subtle.  But who cares!  There's a difference.  And it made me motivated to get all the rest of the photos to line up well.

I took three fully clothed - one profile and two frontal with different zooms.  And then I took four with gym shorts and a sports bra only.  Those photos are just for me as there's way too much hanging out.  But maybe someday, if I get my six-pack back, I'll post them, too.  But I will tell you...even those photos are amazing.  As I got heavier my belly button started moving away from center.  It was an odd thing...to look down...and the belly button wasn't exactly in the middle.  But it is NOW!  My stretch marks on my belly, (only three of 'em) are almost gone, in comparison.  Way lighter way smaller way less noticeable.  An entire belly roll is just gone.  Gone.  Poof. 

And this is only 12 pounds.  So then I was excited to take measurements.  Excited, I tell you, excited!  And I've lost 7.5 inches.  My hips are actually one inch bigger but my waist is two inches smaller.  My arms have lost an inch and a half a piece and my legs as well.  This is only 12 pounds!

And I wouldn't know it just by looking in the mirror.  I wouldn't know that there were subtle differences if photos had not been taken!

Those photos are on this here blog on a side bar.  They will get updated periodically...although I don't want to do this too often as it can lead to not seeing a difference just because not enough time has passed.  But who knows...maybe the weightloss will start happening faster and then the photos should happen with less time in between.  I guess, as I'm typing this I'm realizing, I should take photos every ten pounds or so...not every X amount of days/weeks/months.

But yay!  Tolerable taxes and 7.5 inches.  Who knew?!?

01/22/10: Am I moving?

I like the idea of moving my blog over here. Seems like maybe I can feel alright about talking about life and not just talk about the band.

Please be warned, I get wordy. I get lengthy. However, please keep in mind that in general, even my gripes are shared with a smile on my face.

There are a few blogs on LBT I like to follow because they are oh-so-incredibly INSPIRATIONAL (

Band_Groupie, you know who you are). So when she claimed it was moving day - I had to find out. I can think of maybe one or two more bloggers who might make me do such things...

But then I get here...and I see all these other bloggers who I want to read like yesterday. So I'm working on that.

So, in the meantime, allow me to introduce myself.

My name is LDswims. LD for my first two initials and swims because it's my favorite pass time. I learned to swim before I learned to walk. Funny story. Maybe I'll share it another time. I started on my first swim team at the age of 4 and was on a team through high school.

I live outside of Houston, TX but grew up in Southern California. I miss the beaches but that's about all. The people in Houston are amazingly friendly and, in my particular community, I could not ask for a better life. I still marvel at how this great big huge city is filled with people that still understand and respect manners and courtesy.

I am a Geophysicist by title and an Oceanographer by education. My whole working life has revolved around the oceans - from serving in the Navy for over ten years to studying it in school and now exploring it for "work". I love this planet and how it takes care of itself and us.

And I am trying to embark on the lap-band journey. I am four months into a six month supervised weightloss program. I have about six weeks left and then hopefully my insurance company will approve me. Up to this point, my blog has been about this ridiculous game and how I've handled it, what I've learned from it, and where I hope it goes.

And that's me. More to come...don't worry...unless you know better.

PS - Added on 01/26/10: Anything older than this blog has been imported from LBT. I will be doing this slowly but surely, working forwards from when I started blogging. Happy Reading!