03/05/10: Ugh...

I had dinner last night at 7pm.  It's now 9:28am the next day.  I'm still full!   UGH!

Here's some food porn to start your day with...

Banana's foster prepared tableside.

And my personal fave, creme brulee.

And here's the gorgeous courtyard of the restaurant.

So...it was a great last hoorah.  It won't be the last time I eat there...but it will be the last time I eat like that.

I threw caution to the wind and I said to myself - eat what you want.  So I started with a soup sampler.  It was about 2oz servings of each of their three soups.  The best was the turtle soup.  I also had their gumbo and butternut squash soup.

I don't know that I've ever had butternut squash soup.  And with all the reading I've done on here about how wonderful it is, I was curious.  So I was looking forward to trying a small serving of it.  YUCK!  I mean, their's was good.  It was very delicate with a nice creme fraiche drizzle.  But...eeks - it's sweet.  I hate sweet.  YUCK!  But I tried it and now I know to not waste my time making it.  The turtle soup was absolutely fantastic - but Brennan's is known for that soup, so no surprise there.

That was followed by a warmed spinach winter mushroom salad.  It had a sherry vinaigrette with bone marrow infusion for the dressing.  YUM!

That was followed by a 6 oz filet mignon served on top of whipped garlic potatoes with a bourbon sauce.  YUM!

And finally, my fave, creme brulee. 

I meant to take pics all along the way but I realized as we were driving away that I hadn't gotten my phone out even once!  Sorry y'all!

We had great company and drank a fantastic bottle of wine.  It was a long lingering sort of meal and it just felt exquisite!  We don't do such things often, but it sure is nice to able to enjoy such things periodically!

And given that it was a last meal, of sorts, for quite awhile, (read, I'll be drinking meals for the next month or so) I decided to let myself go.

And that has turned out to be interesting.  I cannot believe I am still full! 

So the interesting thing...

Back when I was skinny and normal...my mom used to love that I ate until I was full and then I stopped.  I had a mechanism in my body that would tell me mid-bite, at times, 'ok, you're done'.  And I'd box the rest up.  I would not sit there and eat more.  I wouldn't order desert.  I'd sip my water until we left.  Maybe coffee.  But I knew exactly when I was done  and I listened to that.

Yeah....not last night!

I ate the soups and was doing fine.  I ate the salad - and it was a very small salad - and was doing fine.  I ate dinner and knew I was satisfied but didn't feel overly stuffed.  And then I ate desert.  About 2/3 of the way through the creme brulee (which was average sized), I was stuffed - but I wasn't going to let the creme brulee, of all things, go to waste.  So I finished it.  And I was fine.  Sated and fine.  We lingered for about an hour talking and drinking water before we finally left.  I was fine.

We got home an hour later.  I WAS STUFFED!  We went across the street to visit our friend who is having her brain surgery today and I WAS EVEN MORE STUFFED!  We got home around 11 for once and for all - and I was in pain I was so stuffed!  And now this morning, it's finally settling...but I'm still full!

Last night was proof positive of why I need the band.  I didn't set out with the intention of discovering more reasons.  The reason just presented itself. 

I know, without a doubt, that if I had gotten to sated during the meal, I would have put my fork down.  I still do when I get the feeling.  But I did not get that feeling at all, not even once, during that meal.

That's just so interesting to me.

But I do want to say - I am owning my decision to eat what I wanted and I am owning this fullness and I am owning what it's taught me.  I thoroughly enjoyed last night and I do not feel even remotely guilty for a single bite I took.  And the scale was only up a pound today.  That pound will go away - but that pound was worth the fantastic evening I was able to share with my wonderful husband and one of our greatest friends.

I also have ended up with the strangest thought in my little pea brain.  I am so stuffed, still, that I cannot imagine eating anything at all today!  I want to drink my meals!  What a perfect way to start a predominantly liquid diet!

Although I woke up and realized something that does make me kind of sad.  I had anticipated having a week or two before having to start the pre-op diet for real.  In that week or two, there were a few things I wanted to eat because some of them are things I don't know that I can eat with a band.  One thing in particular begs a send off and that would be my favorite bagel from Einstein Brothers.  A roasted garlic bagel with lox and cream cheese.  Ahh...just thinking about it...well...I couldn't even fathom trying to eat that today...but I do want just one more.

And lest anyone think, ahh, there's the reason she's fat - she won't give up a bagel...well.  I'd say I haven't had one of these things in nearly six months.  I can't recall the last time I had one.  Yes, I had one (or two) in 2009 - but I do not believe I ate even one the entire time I was on the "unweightloss" program.  If I did, it was early on in that five month span.  But I think the last time I had one of those bagels was way back before I started on this path.

I know from BG that bagels can be problematic.  And I'm fine with never eating a bagel again, honestly - if I can just have one last one.  I can say I'm fine with never eating one again because a lox and bagel is not something you keep for leftovers.  I mean, really...the lox...well...they don't hold up well once served.  I would imagine I can still eat lox - and that's really the part I love - but the bagel.  I don't expect to be able to eat bagels - and I do expect I won't even try.  Hence wanting that one last one.

So...talking to my sweet hubby this morning on the way to work...we both thought going for that bagel on Sunday would be what we end up doing.

The other things I want I think I'll be able to eat post-band - just a lot less of them.  I'm not so worried about those other things.  And oddly enough, much as I dislike breakfast in the morning - all the things I want are breakfast items.

Funny stuff, I tell you, funny stuff!

Ok.  I'm done!

Have a great Friday, y'all, and a happy weekend.  Looks like it will be gorgeous in Houston and I plan on spending most of my time outside.  I'm pulling out all the plants that did not survive our hard freezes and I am thinking I might pull all the screens off the house and get the windows washed and screens cleaned.  It hasn't been done since I moved in almost four years ago and it's time.  This weekend and the fantastic weather is just begging for outdoor activity!