03/30/10: Still

Still waiting on the insurance company.  I hope they can do something this week.  I was hoping it would be yesterday, to be honest.  I had this gut feeling that something was going to happen yesterday.  Maybe it did.  I don't know.  I called at noon - and there's a whole lotta work day left after noon.  But the answer I got at noon was just like all the rest.  Still in review.

I really wish Cigna thought of me as a person and not just a case with a folder attached.  I wish I could talk to someone and relay the human aspect of this; why I want and even need this to happen sooner rather than later.  I get the sense from other blogs that Aetna and BCBS and a whole plethora (for you, Drazil) of other insurance co's get that there are people behind these cases.  But I'm just a case with Cigna.  They keep you away from the people that make the decision.  Maybe I'm wrong, maybe what I read was misinterpreted by me...but it just seems like others have better luck getting through to the people making the decisions.  And I'm specifically not allowed to talk to those people.

Anywho...

After work last night my sweet hubby and I decided to go out to dinner.  He ordered everything I can only dream about having.  A regular salad with ranch dressing and croutons and cheese.  (Can't have the ranch, the croutons or the cheese or the carrots that were shredded and mixed in with the lettuce.)  A chicken fried steak with a baked potato.  So I did him one better.  I ordered a spinach salad with egg and a balsamic vinagreitte.  My salad should have come with blue cheese crumbles and I had to say 'leave that off'.  And grilled salmon with grilled veggies.

I will say that I normally don't go for the chicken fried steak.  I'll get a bite or two from my hubby but I don't usually want a whole one to myself (for multiple meals since they are always ginormous).  Baked potatoes even...more often than not, don't want 'em.  I've gotten to the point that unless I've baked it myself and can use my kind of butter, they just don't taste good to me.  With my baking method, I create a crunchy, slightly salty skin and I eat the potato only so that I can get to the skins.  Sometimes I don't even eat all the potato - just scoop it out and eat the skins.

I think the waiter thought we were nuts.  When he took our drink order he asked if we'd like some bread while we decided on our meal.  I about jumped out of my seat saying "no".  A little later, when we were ordering, I hid behind my menu as my sweet hubby ordered his carb intense dinner.  At this restaurant we went to I love love love their grilled salmon.  I even love their grilled veggies.  That actually was why I suggested it last night.  To make it even worse for the waiter...when he delivered our food I asked "now how much does this fillet weigh?"  He was like "ummm...do I care?"  But he tried to appease me with an answer - 'it's 8oz', he said.

HMPH.  I am looking at that fillet on my plate thinking it can't possibly be 8oz.  It's smaller than most servings I have been eating and I've been weighing everything since I started this.  My hubby and I were surprised on Sunday to learn that thin pork loins worked out to two loins a person just to get 4oz.  My hubby (being a man) is allowed 6.  That gave him 3.5 loins, actually.  This salmon was thinner than those loins were and much smaller in width, too.  Now, I know, I know, different meats weigh in differently.  Afterall, salmon is fatty and a more condensed meat.  I wish I'd had the scale there with me to see just what it weighed.  We decided next time we want to eat from this restaurant, we'll actually call in a to-go order, take it home, and weigh it.  One other thought we had, as I decided to eat it all, was that early last week we got ourselves a tuna steak to split.  And what worked out to 4oz for me and 6oz for hubby was still larger than this salmon fillet on my plate.  And I would think salmon and tuna are comparable in size-weight ratios.

It's interesting getting a real sense of what is right and normal for serving sizes.  I don't plan to be a weigher forever.  I will do so until I can look at something and say "this is normal". 

Ok...just thought of it this way.  I'm sure you've been to a nutrionist somewhere along your journey who said "a normal serving of protein is the size of the back of your hand".  Make a fist and look at the back of your hand.  That's "normal".  The salmon was not that big.

And who cares anyway.  I went home and walked and walked and walked my lake (a few times) and had a generally enjoyable evening. I know I walked a brisk pace last night because my doggie wasn't out ahead of me like he is when I'm just doddling along.  He was right beside me the whole time.

And I was down a pound today.  So today I am where I wanted to be Sunday.  Grr...but at least I'm there.

I am allowed one snack a day of beef jerky if I need something to tide me over.  I did not eat my jerky yesterday.  I was not hungry last night.  My belly was not growling.  By golly, I think I'm getting used to this.

Don't read "getting used to this" as 'liking this'.  I certainly don't.  But I'm fine.

Was 50-60g of carbs enough in a day (my average prior to this diet) that I needed to detox even from that?

My headache is gone.  My tummy is not mad like it was.  I mean, other than a mental fog, I feel quite a bit better.  Especially when compared to Fri or Sat.  I want out of this mental fog, that I know...

Ok, this incessant rambling through my fingertips should end here.  I hope y'all have a fantastic beautiful gorgeous spring day.  All y'all back east that are just getting pounded with rain, please hang in there.  The sun will come out again.