I bet you want to know what the hardest part of having twins is. When I was pregnant, people would bless me all the time. As if this is a curse. I would say thank you. And then I would add "I have already been blessed more than you'll ever know!"
Twins are amazing! Sure, maybe some things or times are harder than others because I have two to contend with. Sure, I don't yet know what I'm really in for - they aren't yet truly mobile and I know that's going to change A LOT for us. But I stand by Twins are amazing!
Do you want to know what the hardest part of having twins is? You ready for this?
Choosing
Why choose, you might ask. I mean, sure. I'd really rather not. I mean, I choose both, obviously! Neither one is more important than the other. So why choose.
That's the hard part.
What do you do, say, when Green is ready for a new diaper and then wants to be fed but Blue is ready to just be fed. If you don't tend to Green's poopy diaper, he's going to have diaper rash. It's that kind of a diaper problem. And there is only one adult in the house. Yes, you have to choose Green's needs. And Blue does not understand that. He just knows he is hungry and you have a bottle.
I have figured out, of course, that if I take them both with me to the nursery, Blue is a little more tolerant of not having his needs met. But he still doesn't like that Green is getting the lion's share of the attention.
Here's another scenario. This one breaks my heart even more, when it happens, although it hasn't happened for quite awhile. When I was home on maternity leave, or even while recovering from the various surgical situations I faced earlier this year, I'd sit on the couch with them in Boppy pillows beside me when it was feeding time. It's the best way to feed them both a bottle at the same time. Green would fall asleep. Blue would be done eating and just be sitting there staring at me. At the time, they both had a thing about not wanting *me* to cuddle both of them at the same time. Anyone else could cuddle them together. But *me*, Mommy, I had to do one at a time. So Green would fall asleep. Blue would still be awake and not eating but wanting a nap. And cuddling him would be that extra little 1-2 that he needed to fall asleep. So I would pick up Blue to cuddle him. And Green would somehow know and wake up. The look Green would have as he realized his brother was being cuddled, but not him. It would break my heart. This happened equally between them both.
How do you choose?
Luckily - the cuddle thing isn't such an issue anymore. And nowadays they will let me cuddle them both together. And with me back at work, it isn't as often that there's only one adult in the house anyway.
But choosing. That's the hardest part of having twins. Because I choose them both. Every second of every day, I want and need them both equally as much in my life!
I think having twins is amazing. And we are REALLY starting to see why.
When I am holding Blue and Husby is holding Green and we pass by each other allowing Blue and Green to get a glimpse of each other - there is a smile that neither Husby or I can get those boys to give us.
Yes, Blue and Green smile at us. Yes, the smile exudes love. But the smiles they give each other...those smiles can't be gotten by anyone else besides "brother".
Blue and Green already have the ability to piss each other off, to frustrate each other, to make the other question what he's doing. Blue can just touch Green when Green is tired and not wanting to fall asleep and Green will instantly settle - and fall asleep. Green can know what Blue wants even when Blue doesn't. I can't tell you how many times I've seen Blue sitting on his playmat just a little fussy. It's obvious he's not happy with his toy selection but he doesn't know what to do about it. Green will hand Blue a toy - and it will make Blue's face light up and solve all his problems.
They are not even eight months old yet.
Do you know how awesome it is to watch this?
Yes, this can happen with siblings. But these two already know each other better than anyone else ever will. My greatest hope for them is that they are always close, that they maintain positivity in their relationship.
If choosing is the hardest thing I have to endure, I'll take it. Because I've learned work-arounds that save me from having to make a choice in the majority of the examples I've come across. I know having more kids isn't likely to make choosing easier. But I also know that their personalities make some of the choices for us all and I am going to do my damnedest to ensure they always know how important their siblings are and how much all of them mean to me! There is no choice!
I think having twins WOULD be amazing... yet frustrating as well. God gives twins to the Mamma's that can handle them :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know how people with kids do it at all much less twins! How sweet they love each other so much!
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