08/11/10: I should be...but instead I'm...

I should be taking tests.  But instead I'm blogging and reading blogs.  I'm still trying to catch up.  I think I've made some good progress but my reader still says "1000+".  I'll get there....I'm reading July 11th right now.  I know I have a big gap in July where I was reading the days blogs before I went back to the "old" stuff...seems I should start catching up soon.

But I should be taking tests.

I have six tests left to take by the end of the week.  Saturday, really, although I don't want to come in on Saturday so I'm really trying to have them done by Friday.  But slacker me...I only took one yesterday.

Wanna know why?

Great.  I'll tell you.

Cause I was absolutely and completely consumed and obsessed with "Am I?"  Three tests, one taken way too early, though, all said no.  But I still thought I was.  Of all the time for nature to screw with my cycle...THIS WAS NOT THE TIME!  But she did.  She screwed me up.  I started this morning...four days late.

When you couple my normal PMS shite with trying to get pregnant and a late start, dang but I didn't believe those danged stupid and expensive (when they are being wasted) tests!

But we are not pregnant.

What a cool story that would have been, too.  I didn't want to make a stink about it because I didn't want to jinx us.  But now that I know I am still obsessive and easily distracted by my desires instead of being able to focus on my reality, I'll tell you what that story would have been.

One Friday night, around about the middle of my cycle, my husband and I watched a movie.  And that movie spoke to both of us in different ways but got us to the same end result.  We had been talking about how much weight I should lose before we start trying and I had the point that it probably won't happen in the first attempt so we should start trying and I'll continue to lose weight as I go and change gears when it's time.  So we agreed, after about a month of talking about it and thinking about it, that we would start trying.  But then we didn't really start trying.  This was back in June.  So here we are in July, end of the month, and we watch this movie (The Rookie).  And by the end of the movie we both wanted a family and we wanted a family RIGHT NOW.  So a little sumtin sumtin later and we are officially "actively trying" (for you, Draz).

And then we started looking at all the ways to help our cause.  BBT monitoring, saliva microscopes, fertility monitors, ovulation tests.  I started doing the BBT monitoring but since I wasn't doing it for the entire cycle it doesn't really mean anything right now.  We bought a saliva microscope (thanks, Sparkler, it got here Mon and I was playing with it last night.  That thing is awesome!)  We opted against the fertility monitor for now, we'll see how it goes.  (Such an extraordinary offer, Linda!)  And ovulation tests...it seems, to me, anyway, that with all this other stuff we are doing, that they are probably not our best help.  Especially since they indicate what's up after what's up has happened.  Oooh, and I forgot, iPeriod on my iPhone.  Thanks for pointing me in that direction, Pie.  I love that app and so does my hubby.  I know that keeping track of things is monumentally easier with that app.  I can put my saliva results in there.  I can graph my BBT in there.  I can keep track of days in there.  I can see graphs for multiple things.  And my hubby can look in there and say to himself (absolutely to himself) 'that explains the attitude!'

So...not this time.  But...I can say...now that nature has screwed with me and I've been on my little roller coaster...I am excited about all our sumtin sumtin we'll get this month.  I learned so much and I think it's worth it's weight in gold to really learn our bodies.  I don't think I've ever been so in tune with myself.  Between the food, the exercise, and now all this tracking...some of the stuff on the scale, for example, makes a gazillion times more sense!

T'would have been a cool story. 

Onwards and forwards...

Do you like to read? 

I love to.  When I worked offshore I got to read A LOT.  I miss that.  It's so much harder to read when I've got my hubby sitting beside me and I'd rather talk to him or play games with him.  But one of my BYOC goals (nearly two weeks ago) was to start picking up my books again.  I'm pleased to say, I have and I am.  I typically go to bed, at least want to, before my hubby.  So I'm using that time to read until he joins me and we watch the evening news.  (I hate that the evening news in TX is on so late at night!)  Right now I'm reading Twilight.  I've got the whole series to read and I've resisted watching the movies until I can read the books.  I did watch Twilight and then got why I wanted to read the books.  So I'll read the rest of 'em before I watch any of the other movies, if I do.  I'm hooked, I can say that much! 

I'm also picking up my magazines again.  I typically read my magazines in the bathtub.  I love me a bubble bath and usually take one after a workout.  And since I just throw magazines away, who cares if they get wet...

All this to say, I'm reading again!  I love it!

Well, I suppose the tests need to be paid attention to.

I hope y'all are having a fabulous week.  I am...in spite of dealing with cramps from hell that are just reminding me of what didn't happen, I am just in general happy and content and happy that I got to spend some time with my family and looking forward to the first quiet weekend we'll have had in almost four months.  Happy hump day!!!